My Whole30 Diary. Part 1.

Day 1.
Breakfast: 6-egg Frittata (shared with Stevie) with chicken sausage, spinach, tomatoes, avocado, onion. Sliced fruit. Black coffee. Water with lemon.

Um, I should feel excited. I just feel annoyed. Why is this SO MUCH WORK. I've been in the kitchen all day - meal prepping, eating, then cleaning up from the meal. Then doing it all over again. This just doesn't make sense for real people with real lives.

 Lunch: Big spinach salad with shredded chicken and chopped green apple, celery, slivered almonds. Olive oil and balsamic dressing. La Croix with lime to drink :)

Dinner: Spaghetti Squash Spaghetti. Which tastes pretty good. But I'm too annoyed to give it accolades.

At the end of the day, I really want to unwind with a glass of wine. And I really want to eat dark chocolate and watch Madam Secretary. Tea Leoni's performance just isn't quite as impressively dynamic with a lame cup of tea in my hand. Ugh.

Snack (which is totally off the Whole30 plan but seriously, this plan sucks, so I'm allowing it): Baked apples and pears with slivered almonds, dusted cinnamon, a scoop of almond flour, coconut oil.

Day 2.
Breakfast: Frittata. Fruit. Coffee with coconut oil and cinnamon.

I tried something new to jazz up my coffee - adding a tablespoon of coconut oil and cinnamon, which I immediately regret. Too oily. It coated my throat in a weird way. I find myself almost wishing for black coffee. Almost.

Lunch: Big spinach salad with shredded chicken, chopped cucumbers, kalamata olives, artichokes, red onions, tomatoes and slivered almonds. Lemon juice, olive oil and balsamic dressing. La Croix with lime.

This salad is officially delicious. It's the first thing I can actually say that about while on Whole30. I decided that if I have to eat this every day for a month for lunch, I can do so happily.

Dinner: Pork chop with spiced apple sauce, sweet potato and cabbage slaw.

Snack: Baked fruit.

I felt like a grown up because I MADE pork chops. It was good. But still - I just felt too mad about this annoying "wellness exercise" to enjoy it. Stevie on the other hand, was RAVING. Of course he would be liking this. Of course.

Day 3.
Stevie needs to be punched. It's a need. He wakes up and says, "I am just feeling SO GOOD. Like, we always eat healthy, but the fact that I feel this good after eating healthier for a few days is really compelling. This plan works!" Which leads to my need to punch him. I don't do it. I just stare at his pretty face and imagine it a little bit.

Breakfast: Frittata. Fruit. Coffee.

I feel TERRIBLE. So tired. So mad. I feel like I'm walking around in a fog. This is the worst day yet.

Lunch: Greek chicken salad (same as yesterday).

Dinner: Salmon with lemon-herb mayo. Broccoli + roasted potatoes.

Snack: Baked fruit.

Day 4.
Breakfast: Frittata. Fruit. Coffee.

Lunch: Greek chicken salad.

Dinner: Baked chicken & green beans.

So today I've made a discovery. If I have no positive taste expectations from my food, and it's consumed for the basic reasons of nourishment, then I'm fine. If I don't expect to enjoy or savor the tastes in my mouth, then I am fine to just go through the day without looking forward to my meals. I don't dread them, but I don't look forward to them. I know how morbid this sounds to foodies all over the world (and the one who lives in my head), but I've spent the past three days disappointed at every meal, and I don't want to live another 26 days that way. I just need to have low expectations. Food is for nourishment on this plan, not for fun. Not for joy.

Okay, so I didn't make this discovery. My attitude has been so bad that my Dad has to give me a talking-to. He said something along the lines of, "Soldier up. You made a commitment, so just do it." And he's totally right. So I'm doing it. And trying to whine a little less.

Day 5.
Breakfast: Eggs scrambled with spinach and onion. Fruit. Coffee.

This is the day I texted my sister-in-law, "I might actually die."

Lunch: Greek chicken salad.

Dinner: Slow-cooker beef brisket with onions and carrots.

I didn't die. But I almost quit today. Really and truly. If it weren't for Stevie, I probably would have caved on this very day.

Day 6:
Breakfast: An egg. Fruit.

This was an interesting day to be on Whole30 because I attended a brunch at an awesome brunchy restaurant (Sun in My Belly!) honoring my pregnant friend. There was no way I was going to skip it just because of Whole30, because I love her and she is so fun to celebrate and our kids will one day marry, so I just checked the menu ahead of time and formulated a plan. I also decided in my heart that I didn't want to be "that person" at the restaurant, asking high-maintenance questions about the oils and sugar content. I just decided that I'm going to order the cleanest I can and not worry about the rest.

I thought it would be hard, with mimosas and croissants being passed around me, but it really wasn't. At this point it was just decided: I'm doing Whole30, and I can't have that right now. So yeah. Stoic is perhaps the word I would use to describe it. I felt stoic to the food, not the company (obviously!)

Lunch/Brunch: Two fried eggs. Turkey sausage. Fruit. Coffee.

Dinner: Salmon cakes with roasted red pepper dressing. Arugula salad.

Day 7:
Breakfast: Scrambled eggs. Fruit. Tea.

Snack: Lara bar.

Lunch: Leftover salmon cakes with roasted red pepper dressing.

Dinner: Leftover brisket with onions and carrots.

Sunday is church day, which lately means an earlier morning for all of us, but we love it! We had to be careful to plan our breakfast and snacks so that we wouldn't be hungry and/or lust over the cinnamon bagels and yogurt. But we actually did okay!

Overall Week Recap:
I felt angry most of the week. I wanted to quit, and I'm not a quitter. I was surprised by how badly I wanted some of my old favorite foods - Ezekiel toast, sweetened coffee, wine at night, chocolate. The meal prep was an enormous project, and I honestly don't know how I would do this plan if I had a full-time job. But at 7 days in, I didn't feel like I wanted to quit anymore. So I will keep going!

Who else is doing Whole30 right now? Any of this sound similar to what you're going through?

P.S. - I'm sharing the Whole30 frittata recipe I've been making almost daily on the blog tomorrow :)

On Why I'm Doing Whole30. And What Happens on Day 3.

So I am doing Whole30 (which I mentioned in my resolutions post), a wellness plan that focuses on lots of protein, healthy fats, fruits and veggies. The program's purpose is to target individual's food habits and retrain our emotional attachment to food. It calls for a total elimination of all the fun foods in my life, like sugar and wine and bread and cheese and grains.

No wine, guys.

No grilled cheese.

Oh, and no pizza. It's like the freaking apocalypse.

I feel excited about the potential outcome of this program, because I read the book and the cook book and I believe all the wonderful benefits that come from eating so clean. I've had friends and family complete the 30-day program (and the extra 12-day reentry), and they have felt an increase in overall clarity and sharpness, amazing amounts of energy, a newfound sense of discipline and control in their lives, clearer skin, better digestion, and just overall wonderfulness. Who doesn't want that?

I want that. That's why I decided to do it.

But oh. It comes at a cost, guys.

I am on day 3 of Whole30. And I feel *so* angry.

SO ANGRY.

I don't know why I am so mad. I feel really really mad though. I'm tired of reading through every single ingredient of every single food I used to cook with. And realizing so many of my go-to "healthy" ingredients are loaded with sneaky preservatives and artificial sweeteners. And don't even get me started on how long I've been in the kitchen. I'm like a kitchen slave. This is what it must have felt like to be a woman in the 50's, and home every day, just making those pork chops and vegetables and waiting for her man to come home blah blah blah. This doesn't work in the modern world! We don't just stay home all day to cook! And this is coming from someone who LOVES to cook.

What's happening to me.

I'm not trying to be angry. I even reached out to some friends because I felt so angry. Not at anyone or anything, but just a general, blanketing sense of fogginess and annoyance. The consensus is that this particular feeling is part of the detox of the program. It's fascinating to me, because I am such a healthy eater and mindful cook. So the fact that I'm detoxing and it feels this powerful, this soon, is a little mind-blowing. Slightly concerning. And annoying.

The final nail in the coffin is that I kind of had to force Stevie to do Whole30 with me. It's so much better if couples do it together, because there is a lot of food prep and a need for a big commitment to the new routines and it just makes sense when you're eating meals together. So he was on the fence and I forced him to read a few chapters and he was still all, "I don't know. I don't really get WHY we would do this. I need more conviction." He finally got on board because, what else is he going to do? I'm the primary chef in this house. And you know that guys? I'm on Day 3 of feeling crummy and he feels AMAZING. Yesterday he said, "It's weird, because we usually eat really healthy anyway. But the fact that I feel SO GOOD after just a few of these cleaner meals is really compelling. Like, this program works." And you guys, every time he talks about how amazing he feels, I kind of want to punch him.

That's not a normal feeling for me, in case you were wondering.

I generally love his sunny nature.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME.

So there you have it. I'm on on Day 3 and I have 27 to go. Plus the 12 reentry days, if I choose to do those. Bet you can guess which way I'm leaning on that one.

I'll be sharing some Whole30 recipes this month that hopefully rock my world and don't taste like a boot. I've actually found a few that I really enjoy, even in the midst of my irritability. So there you have it.

Who's done Whole30? What was your experience? Anyone currently doing it? Let's talk recipes!

P.S. - My Whole30 Diary from the first week.

My 2016 Resolutions.

Oooooh MONDAY. I'm ready for you this time. I hope your weekend was a blast, friends. We spent the weekend cleaning out Christmas (I might have dragged it out a bit) and rearranging all our furniture. Because, January. I'll have to post some of our living room photos over the next few weeks, because I am really liking our new set up. But that's not what today is about at all.

Resolutions, guys! Resolutions!! I am feeling so motivated! This is one of my favorite times of year, because the slate is clean and the mind is clear and there is NOTHING holding me back. Except for the limitations I put on myself.

Some of you might remember my Intentional October journey, which really kick-started my personal motivation and helped me develop a bit more discipline in some areas of my life that were lacking. Not all of those disciplines have stuck around, but I am ready to enact (most) of them again, because I felt so amazing when I was in that mode. Waking up super early, spending time stretching and reading the bible and writing before Everett even made a peep. It was glorious. And going to bed early, NOT watching TV, reading books. It sounds so silly and simple. But I never felt so good. My mind was clear, my body was rested, and I felt really energetic. As my bro-in-law Brent would say, I was running on Tiger Blood. I think that means something really good.

So Intentional October is following me throughout January. And I know it's going to make a big different in the rest of my resolutions... Here they are.

Food.
Clean up my diet. Prepare healthier, delicious meals for myself and my family.

Why? Because I want to live long and be really strong. We eat pretty healthy as a family, and mostly cook at home, but there is definitely room for improvement. I love to cook, but I find myself in a rut a lot of the time, and I tend to fall back on making the same comfort foods when I don't know what else to make. As a way to kick some bad habits and create some healthier ones, Stevie and I are beginning the Whole30 challenge TODAY, and I welcome anyone who wants to join me. It's a 30-day wellness eating plan (NOT a diet), focusing on whole foods such as protein, vegetables and fruits. There is a ton of wonderful info about it up on the site, and I found this book and this cook book extremely enlightening as I made my plan.

Fitness.
Gym 2X per week. Cardio 2X per week.

I have the time. There is always time. I just have to manage my time more efficiently to make this commitment a non-negotiable one in my schedule. That's what it's really all about with any of these resolutions, right? Make them appointments in your planner, things that can't be bumped by other commitments.

If I can hit the gym on the days that Everett is at "school" and take him on jogs/walks (usually over to his favorite park) on other days of the week, then we would be golden. It sounds easy, but over the past several weeks, the crazy amounts of rain and freezing cold windy weather has really cramped our healthy, outdoorsy style. I've actually been squeezing in some of Tracy Anderson's quick shape-up videos in my living room and I am loving them! She is so intense and so good.

Finances.
Budget and save better than ever.

We bought a house this year. That's the biggest item I've ever bought. By far. And along with that comes the desire to make changes and decorate and blah blah blah - basically I want to empty our bank account into our home design budget. In an effort to NOT blow the budget and instead save even more responsibly than ever, we have decided to host a Dave Ramsey Financial Freedom course at our house with some friends from church. By host, I mean be the host house. We are in no way advising friends on finances haha, that's Dave's job. But I am excited for the camaraderie and making a really strategic plan for our budget. We love using our budget tool, YNAB to keep track of our expenses and stay on track, but there is always room to be more disciplined and strategic. We want to be generous people, excellent stewards of what we have, and have a healthy mindset when it comes to our finances. So we begin our course this week! Wahoo. Oh adulthood. I never in my life thought I would be excited about a FINANCE class.

Favorites.
Make more music.

You know that I love to write. But you might not know that writing music is how Stevie and I fell in love. Yes, you can groan while imagining my googly face right now. A good ten years ago, we were writing music together and drinking Starbucks apple cider and those lyrics in my notebook turned into moments of love. Before and after we were married, we had the privilege of playing, singing and leading worship together at our church, and spent a ton of our free time writing and developing music. When we moved to Boston and he went to grad school and I pursued acting in NYC and then we HAD A BABY and bought at house, music kind of took a backseat. But it's something that is so intrinsic to who we are and we miss it. A lot. So we are putting it back in the front seat and making time to develop our sound once again. We are still hammering out the details of what this goal looks like - do we want to have written 100 songs by the end of the year? That was a resolution goal of our friend John a few years ago, and he totally slam dunked it. Such an inspiration. Do we want to play in coffee shops/bars? Do we want to record an EP? Haha we are in the dreaming phase again. But we do know we are dedicating an evening a week to it. And we shall see how this artistic side of ourselves develops once again :)

There it is! I feel pretty vulnerable putting my resolutions out there for everyone to see every year, but I know that it will help solidify my commitment to them. I am using my handy dandy self-made proverb to encourage myself and keep my head on straight. You know, along with the actual Proverbs :)

How are your resolutions stacking up? Any resolution-keeping tips?

P.S. - If you haven't already taken the reader survey, I would love it if you would take 2 minutes to share what you think about the blog! And many thanks to all of you who have already taken it - I've been reading the results as they come in. Your words and suggestions are speaking to my heart, so thank you. xox