2/50 NYC Adventures: Times Square

"I had traveled eight thousand miles around the American continent and I was back on Times Square; and right in the middle of a rush hour, too, seeing with my innocent road-eyes the absolute madness and fantastic hoorair of New York

with its millions and millions hustling forever for a buck among themselves, the mad dream

- grabbing, taking, giving, sighing, dying, just so they could be buried in those awful cemetery cities beyond Long Island City."

- Jack Kerouac, On the Road

What is Times Square?

So maybe Jack Kerouac didn't really like Times Square. I understand. But. There is something outrageous and memorable about the first time you experience the CRAZY that is Times Square. Mixed with a lot of grit, toothy smiles and too-vivid colors is a tiny little bit of magic, and that's what I want to highlight.

What is there to say about Times Square? If you've been there once, you probably don't feel the need to return. It's not that it's a bad experience, it's one that everyone should have. Giant jumbo screens featuring American Eagle underwear models leaping around, giggling at their own adorableness, as if they're shocked by their own precious effect on the world. "Oh my goodness, I really am a doll in my panties! Tee hee hee." Ugh. Yet this is the kind of advertising that America wants, so sure, put it on the BIGGEST SCREEN IN THE COUNTRY. Purse ads are the same size as a building (they probably cost as much as a building, too.) Theaters litter every corner, advertising the latest and greatest musical, sure to change the world as we know it with its audacious storyline. Not gonna lie, I really appreciate the theater culture. It's what most endears me to this neighborhood. The theater geek within me gives certain grace allowances to the circus of this square.

The Gold.

Times Square is a flamboyant, semi-adult version of Disneyworld. On speed. In a club. With extra-large flashing lights. And naked cowboys prancing about, requesting money for their, well, nakedness. It's an odd kind of place. It's both fortunate and unfortunate that my acting studio is located in Times Square, so I am there almost daily. Yes, I have already become a speed-walking snob that gets annoyed with people who mosey in front of me at a snails pace, their heads up to the sky, gazing open-mouthed at the GIANT lit-up buildings. It's fine, but don't block my entrance to the subway while you do that, please. And because of it's touristy draw, most of Times Square consists of people gazing upwards at the lights, amused and amazed. The rest of us are just trying to get somewhere. Oh, and there are the few (thousand) con artists trying to make money off the first group by selling shot glasses, t shirts and fake Rolexes. Although, I really prefer the fake Louis Vuittons, if you care to know. I'm a sucker for that fou-fou French brand.

The Theater.

Times Square houses the incredible theater district of New York. Arguably, this is greatest theater town in the world (stop pouting, London, you get a place in my heart, too.) Just two weeks ago I had the incredible privilege to see The Winslow Boy at The Roundabout Theater with my uber-cultured Aunt Shirley. She is the first person who ever introduced me to Broadway by taking me to see Kiss Me Kate when I was 12, so she is really the one to blame for this whole dreamy excursion of being an actor. If I never make it, eh... I'll start crocheting for a living. But if I DO, that Oscar is surefire dedicated to her. She knows it. We had a good ol' time taking in the incredible story that The Winslow Boy had to offer. I love theater, because it asks you to think for yourself. And it's funny, because my Aunt Shirley has spent a lifetime teaching me to do that, too.

Oh the theater. And since they're all located in Times Square, I'll take it. Light the way.

Romeo & Juliet. Orlando & Kristen. Plus Stevie.

// The door to the building. Yowza.//

Romeo, Oh Romeo, Wherefore Art Thou Romeo?

Orlando Bloom. Is currently starring on Broadway in Romeo & Juliet.

Yeah. That hot elf has graduated to an iconic Shakespearean bad boy. Traded in his ears for tears and I'm still swooning. Way to go, Bloom. Way to GO.

 Image Via 1, 2, 3

"Elf envy... they all had it." - Orlando Bloom, on the set of Lord of the Rings

Our History: LOTR

I first crushed on Orlando Bloom when he was a mystical, gracious aryan elf helping Frodo make it to Mount Doom in the epic The Fellowship of the Ring. Please. No one in that movie could even TOUCH Legolas. He was way too cool. He had perfect sight and could see enemies coming miles away. His sensitive hearing could detect oncoming danger. He could scurry along on top of the snow while everyone trudged through it. He never got dirty. His bow and arrow were righteously right. And as long as he didn't get killed, he could live FOREVER. Ugh. This elf was the man. Perhaps he combed his blonde tresses a bit too much and maybe he got a lot of elven mani-pedis on the set of these movies, but he still had super powers. Awesome ones.

My Husband.

So of course I found me a man who resembled Legolas. Obviously. He doesn't shoot arrows or throw daggers at dwarves, but he can do some pretty eerie stuff on Excel. And he doesn't have super-human hearing or seeing, but he actually listens to me babble on about the beauty of teatime and the necessity for efficient dish stacking in the dishwasher. And that's pretty super to me. What a man. He took me to see Orlando as Romeo for my birthday. The show is brand spankin' new, only running for 2 months, and Stevie snagged us tickets for my birthday. Best gift ever.

My Review.

The cast? Ridiculously talented. I mean, superior-ly talented. The theater? The Richard Rogers is one of the more beautiful Broadway theaters I've been in. The drama? Pretty expectedly impeccable. Shakespeare's language is so articulate, so intentional and just so poignant. Stevie and I have been on a Shakespeare kick since we saw A Midsummer Night's Dream in London this past summer. Also epic. Now I want to see Macbeth and Hamlet again!

// The show was smoochable. //

After Party. 

We left the theater in a thrill. Clutching each others hands, quoting "Oh Romeo!" and "parting is such sweet sorrrrrooowwww!!!" (alright, I was the only one poetically wailing ) But we fell out the door into the chilly night, the autumn air crisp and the New York street lit up with the bright lights of Broadway. What a dream. This moment. What I always wanted to do. Goof off on Broadway.

We waited after the show to get a glance at the cast before they left the theater. Apparently everyone else had the same idea. Good thing Stevie a lot taller than a bunch of post-teen gals (like me) and he and Orlando actually had some, well, I can say it, but don't get too jealous: EYE CONTACT.

// Who remembers Justin Guirini from American Idol Season 1? He was my fave in From Justin to Kelly. He played Count Paris and totally rocked it. //

// We "met" Orlando. In the top right corner, that's Stevie and Orlando's hands, almost touching! We (meaning Stevie) scored his autograph! Ah, I am still a 13-year old starstruck little girl inside. Note: he has a bodyguard. And that guy is lookin' FIERCE. //

// His autograph? Pretty cool. Our enjoyment of another celeb sighting? Priceless. //

Way to my Heart.

This birthday? Somehow it was just the best ever. Even though, for those folks on stage, "Never was there a story of more woe, than this of Juliet and her Romeo." Duh duh DUHHHHH.