My Whole30 Diary. Part 1.

Day 1.
Breakfast: 6-egg Frittata (shared with Stevie) with chicken sausage, spinach, tomatoes, avocado, onion. Sliced fruit. Black coffee. Water with lemon.

Um, I should feel excited. I just feel annoyed. Why is this SO MUCH WORK. I've been in the kitchen all day - meal prepping, eating, then cleaning up from the meal. Then doing it all over again. This just doesn't make sense for real people with real lives.

 Lunch: Big spinach salad with shredded chicken and chopped green apple, celery, slivered almonds. Olive oil and balsamic dressing. La Croix with lime to drink :)

Dinner: Spaghetti Squash Spaghetti. Which tastes pretty good. But I'm too annoyed to give it accolades.

At the end of the day, I really want to unwind with a glass of wine. And I really want to eat dark chocolate and watch Madam Secretary. Tea Leoni's performance just isn't quite as impressively dynamic with a lame cup of tea in my hand. Ugh.

Snack (which is totally off the Whole30 plan but seriously, this plan sucks, so I'm allowing it): Baked apples and pears with slivered almonds, dusted cinnamon, a scoop of almond flour, coconut oil.

Day 2.
Breakfast: Frittata. Fruit. Coffee with coconut oil and cinnamon.

I tried something new to jazz up my coffee - adding a tablespoon of coconut oil and cinnamon, which I immediately regret. Too oily. It coated my throat in a weird way. I find myself almost wishing for black coffee. Almost.

Lunch: Big spinach salad with shredded chicken, chopped cucumbers, kalamata olives, artichokes, red onions, tomatoes and slivered almonds. Lemon juice, olive oil and balsamic dressing. La Croix with lime.

This salad is officially delicious. It's the first thing I can actually say that about while on Whole30. I decided that if I have to eat this every day for a month for lunch, I can do so happily.

Dinner: Pork chop with spiced apple sauce, sweet potato and cabbage slaw.

Snack: Baked fruit.

I felt like a grown up because I MADE pork chops. It was good. But still - I just felt too mad about this annoying "wellness exercise" to enjoy it. Stevie on the other hand, was RAVING. Of course he would be liking this. Of course.

Day 3.
Stevie needs to be punched. It's a need. He wakes up and says, "I am just feeling SO GOOD. Like, we always eat healthy, but the fact that I feel this good after eating healthier for a few days is really compelling. This plan works!" Which leads to my need to punch him. I don't do it. I just stare at his pretty face and imagine it a little bit.

Breakfast: Frittata. Fruit. Coffee.

I feel TERRIBLE. So tired. So mad. I feel like I'm walking around in a fog. This is the worst day yet.

Lunch: Greek chicken salad (same as yesterday).

Dinner: Salmon with lemon-herb mayo. Broccoli + roasted potatoes.

Snack: Baked fruit.

Day 4.
Breakfast: Frittata. Fruit. Coffee.

Lunch: Greek chicken salad.

Dinner: Baked chicken & green beans.

So today I've made a discovery. If I have no positive taste expectations from my food, and it's consumed for the basic reasons of nourishment, then I'm fine. If I don't expect to enjoy or savor the tastes in my mouth, then I am fine to just go through the day without looking forward to my meals. I don't dread them, but I don't look forward to them. I know how morbid this sounds to foodies all over the world (and the one who lives in my head), but I've spent the past three days disappointed at every meal, and I don't want to live another 26 days that way. I just need to have low expectations. Food is for nourishment on this plan, not for fun. Not for joy.

Okay, so I didn't make this discovery. My attitude has been so bad that my Dad has to give me a talking-to. He said something along the lines of, "Soldier up. You made a commitment, so just do it." And he's totally right. So I'm doing it. And trying to whine a little less.

Day 5.
Breakfast: Eggs scrambled with spinach and onion. Fruit. Coffee.

This is the day I texted my sister-in-law, "I might actually die."

Lunch: Greek chicken salad.

Dinner: Slow-cooker beef brisket with onions and carrots.

I didn't die. But I almost quit today. Really and truly. If it weren't for Stevie, I probably would have caved on this very day.

Day 6:
Breakfast: An egg. Fruit.

This was an interesting day to be on Whole30 because I attended a brunch at an awesome brunchy restaurant (Sun in My Belly!) honoring my pregnant friend. There was no way I was going to skip it just because of Whole30, because I love her and she is so fun to celebrate and our kids will one day marry, so I just checked the menu ahead of time and formulated a plan. I also decided in my heart that I didn't want to be "that person" at the restaurant, asking high-maintenance questions about the oils and sugar content. I just decided that I'm going to order the cleanest I can and not worry about the rest.

I thought it would be hard, with mimosas and croissants being passed around me, but it really wasn't. At this point it was just decided: I'm doing Whole30, and I can't have that right now. So yeah. Stoic is perhaps the word I would use to describe it. I felt stoic to the food, not the company (obviously!)

Lunch/Brunch: Two fried eggs. Turkey sausage. Fruit. Coffee.

Dinner: Salmon cakes with roasted red pepper dressing. Arugula salad.

Day 7:
Breakfast: Scrambled eggs. Fruit. Tea.

Snack: Lara bar.

Lunch: Leftover salmon cakes with roasted red pepper dressing.

Dinner: Leftover brisket with onions and carrots.

Sunday is church day, which lately means an earlier morning for all of us, but we love it! We had to be careful to plan our breakfast and snacks so that we wouldn't be hungry and/or lust over the cinnamon bagels and yogurt. But we actually did okay!

Overall Week Recap:
I felt angry most of the week. I wanted to quit, and I'm not a quitter. I was surprised by how badly I wanted some of my old favorite foods - Ezekiel toast, sweetened coffee, wine at night, chocolate. The meal prep was an enormous project, and I honestly don't know how I would do this plan if I had a full-time job. But at 7 days in, I didn't feel like I wanted to quit anymore. So I will keep going!

Who else is doing Whole30 right now? Any of this sound similar to what you're going through?

P.S. - I'm sharing the Whole30 frittata recipe I've been making almost daily on the blog tomorrow :)

Intentional October Update: Week 1.

It's time for an update and a check-in with you! How's your Intentional October going, friends? I'm going to be honest with you - mine has been hard. Harder than I thought it would be! I was so jazzed about this - but actually putting it into practice everyday has been really really challenging. I don't want to wake up early. And I really miss zoning out and watching TV at night. Discipline is hard!

I'll give you a rough overview of where I'm at:

My Tactics:
1. Wake up early.
5:30 AM to be exact. - Um, this has been challenging. Really really really.

2. Drink a Nalgene of water.
Right when I wake up, before consuming anything else. - This has been great. I actually crave my enormous Nalgene of lemon water when I wake up. It's hard to drink the whole thing so early, but I'm really trying to force myself to get it done within the first hour of the day. I feel so much better all morning long.

3. Have 10-20ish minutes of quiet time.
Reading, praying, journaling. - This has, surprisingly, been my favorite! I have paired it with some early morning stretches, and I am loving this time. I'm no yogi, but I feel exhilarated, stretching in the quiet morning hour. Making this action a part of my morning prayers seriously makes me feel like I am moving mountains here!

4. Exercise in the morning.
For the most part, getting myself outside to run has just been awful - I am wheezing and crampy and I feel like my lungs are going to explode. I guess that's what they call being out of shape, huh? But yesterday I finally had a break through run with my sis-in-law Lauren and I actually enjoyed the run. So, progress! But I've been at the gym a few times this week, too, and I am feeling good about getting back into some light weight lifting.

5. Eat a healthy breakfast.
This has been good. I'm still trying to figure out the best time to eat in conjunction with feeding my kid and exercising in the morning, but I am really enjoying a half a banana, sliced, on a buttered waffle in the mornings. Have you tried Kerrygold butter? I am obsessed. People are way too down on butter - this butter is so gooooood.

6. Tackle the biggest item on my to-do list.
This has been great. I feel so much more productive and accomplished by midday! My mornings are pretty full, especially with a baby in tow, but when lunch time rolls around I feel like I have tackled a TON. But I also feel like I need a nap, haha. I get jealous when I put Everett down for his nap and I have half a mind to just jump in the crib with him. Babies are so lucky.

7. Read in the evenings.
I am officially sucking at this one. I want to read, I SO DO, but I am not getting in bed early enough to read before I want the lights to go out. I read a few times this week, but a few times I also dropped into bed so exhausted, and later than planned. Which nixed the reading. I'm currently reading The Happiness Project, which is giving me some good tips for this intentional journey I am on.

8. Go to bed early.
Lights out at 9:30pm. - This has been really hard to do. Why is it so hard? Why are there so many bedtime activities that MUST BE DONE? I find myself at 9:15 folding laundry, picking up Everett's shoes that he has thrown in the bathtub, and decluttering my bedroom. 9:30 just comes around SO EARLY.

The consensus? I've still got my work cut out for me. I am not as disciplined as I would like. I mentioned here that the focus this past week would be on ourselves, and then we would expand from there. However, I am going to take another week to really hone in on the discipline aspect for myself. It's another self-focused week, to tweak the things that haven't gone right, and create a rhythm for these activities to thrive in my life.

How are you doing with your intentions? Have you hit any roadblocks this week? What activities are working for you? Any advice for the class?

Resolutions. Lists. Mindgames. Whatnot.

Resolutions. Lists. Whatnot.

Resolutions are silly.

And yet I am SO typical. I want to do all the ones that are just completely run-of-the-mill and obvious. Exercise more. Read more. Watch less TV. Learn something new. Blah blah blah. This post is much more for my own sake but sometimes it's fun to share the loopy journey our minds take during the month of January. I don't think you have to be super Type-A to feel the resolution energy. It's another thing entirely to actually do something with that mind energy. Here's my scrawling list of resolution-esque things to play around with over the next few months.

Work It.

Obviously, exercise and get back in shape. Like for REAL shape. It's been a long time since I've had a waist, due to this. And I've been rocking this lingering double chin a bit longer than I had anticipated. I got a gym membership a while ago. I've been twice.

A note about this: I can differentiate this goal from previous years because I don't want to exercise to achieve some kind of bikini body (omgaaaah is that season coming soon? Curses.) I really, really want to be strong. And able. To chase my child around and keep up with him and be healthy for him. It's amazing how growing your family really showcases your own personal weaknesses. And I don't just mean emotionally and sleep deprived and all that. I mean physically, too. That child just wears me out. And I'm young! I want more children! I am realizing that I have to strengthen my core, my back, my legs and arms - just to keep up with the daily lifting and moving and playing that we do. I shouldn't be feeling tired at 11am and have sore knees and headaches all the time. Clearly, some things are out of balance. I'm still mulling over some serious changes in diet, vitamins and supplements (that are all breastfeeding-friendly!), but in the meantime, figuring out how to incorporate more exercise into my daily routine would be a really rad start.

Paint Stuff.

I want to get back into painting with watercolors. Once upon a time I DID THIS. Just for funsies. I just think it would be really lovely to spend my afternoons watercoloring. Don't laugh. And don't remind me that I have a newborn and I can barely keep our doctors appointments straight, let alone HAVE A HOBBY. I already know all of this. But I'd like to defy the odds. I'd like to watercolor paint again. So there. Although, it does sort of seem like the kind of thing you see some French babe do in a movie and nowhere else.

"Is that a Ferruginous or a Red-Tail?"

And birdwatching. I really want to get into birdwatching. And maybe have a bird passport. You know. For marking off all the exotic birds I want to see in my lifetime. The non-exotic ones should count, too. We've got some hawks in our neighborhood that I've started naming :) I really like this particular "goal", because I can bird watch in my back yard. I can bird watch today. I can look out the window and see birds. NAILED IT. Moving on.

Write "Me".

I've been assessing this little blog of mine. I love it. It's not perfect, it's not exactly what I envision, and there are things I've love to change/do more of/do less of. But mostly I'd like to continue to make strides to grow it in a way that is organic, fun and "me". I am grateful for this forum as a way to document our family's journey and celebrate life's sublime moments. I'm so grateful for how it's connected me to such wonderful friends and the broader online community. Yes, there is a lot of hate on the Internet. But not everywhere.

I hesitate to really expand beyond these goals because having a lengthy to-do list of resolutions is the most surefire way to accomplish nothing. I mean, I bought a planner this year, so I might actually show up somewhere on time in the very near future. That would be PROGRESS. I'm ready to reel my life back in and focus a little bit more on my personal wellness and development. I share these little goals with you because I know many of you are sifting through your own goals, both personal and career-oriented, and sometimes it helps to share in the journey together. To keep accountable. To encourage. To watch birds.

What are your goals? Have any tips on how to follow through? I would love to hear!