Live Like No One Else.

This weird thing has been happening. And I'm fully to blame.

Momentum.

 It started with Intentional October. I was so excited to get laser-focused on things that would help improve my overall health - sleeping more, exercising more, spending time praying and reading my bible, and focusing on my writing. And intentional October was such an awesome experience! It wasn't without its challenges or surprises. My son broke his leg during that time and of course, everything became about helping him heal, and my perfect schedule was put on the back burner. But still, I gleaned so much from the experience of making a schedule that accommodated the healthy choices and writing goals that I wanted to implement. It was a learning experience.

Then came Whole30, a food experiment that had me hyper-focused on how the foods that I put into my body really affect me. I discovered what helped me sleep better, exercise grade, rest more fully and appreciate that healthier choices actually resulted in a happier lifestyle. Whole30 was really hard because it absolutely challenged my norms- wine at night, chocolate everyday (duh), carbs when I need a fast snack. Those things weren't Whole30-approved, and breaking those habits were a lot more emotional than I ever would have thought they would be. But I am a better woman, wife and mom because of that food experiment. And we are still eating Whole30-style these days about half the time!

And then there Is Dave Ramsey, and his Financial Peace University. Stevie and I volunteered to host this finance class at our home for a small group of people at our church. It's a 9-week course that focuses on how to manage finances in a way that teaches how to save, plan for the future, get out of debt and live a fulfilled life on a budget. And you guys. This class is absolutely messing with me. Because I thought we were pretty "good" when it comes to managing our finances. We've had a budget for years, share a joint account and we meet with our financial planner once a year to "check in" and discuss our goals. However, this class has shown me the holes that we didn't realize were there, and has challenged my financial mindset - namely, the way that I feel, and therefore treat, our finances. I didn't realize the areas where I was short-sighted. Areas where I was fearful. Areas where I was foolish. Because of what I've learned over the past nine weeks, I am thinking twice when I flip through the sales at Anthropologie. I'm like, do I really need more stuff? Do I?? It's convicting, but in a great way that has me assessing how I want to plan for the near future for my family. I don't think there is anything wrong with spending money- it's a resource and it should be used. But I'm just saying- it's causing me to really think as I use those resources.

All of these things - intentional October, Whole30, Financial Peace University - they have positioned me in this mode of coming at life. Not letting life just happen, but really attacking my day, every day, with tenacity and intention. "Live like no one else" is something that Dave Ramsey quotes a lot, meaning that you adjust your life in a way that works for you and your family and planning for your future. Just because everyone buys a new car at a certain stage of life, or spends money on societal "must haves" doesn't mean that I must have it. Assessing where every dollar goes, assessing where my time is spent, assessing the foods going into my body. It's crazy hyper focus! But you know what? This crazy thing is happening because of it - momentum.

I'm sharing all of this with you for a reason. I've had my paradigm messed with over the past six months. In so many areas of my life. But because of the intention that my husband and I have set before ourselves, we are seeing momentous shifts in our finances, more writing gigs abound (for me) and we are literally, feeling healthier. We are sharpening up, and it's been kind of painful, but kind of awesome. Sometimes it's hard to recognize when you're in a season of growing, but I am extremely aware that I am mid-growth right now. I have a lot to learn (oh so much), but I really like who I am becoming more than who I was a year ago. And it feels good to actually see and sense a difference.
 

The 5 Takeaways I Discovered During Intentional October.

When I think back on the month of October, I am a bit baffled by how much actually occurred in just one month. I personally experienced a lot in just a mere 31 days! Several destination weddings, budding work assignments, my son's accident, a nasty bout of sickness - all in the midst of a month where I was attempting significant lifestyle change. There were so many times during the past month where I felt the temptation to let go of my Intentional October goals because I was just exhausted by all the life going on around me. There were so many "good" reasons why I could have/should have - but I felt an urgency to keep going. To do my best, even if I slipped up a little here or there.

I learned some mini lessons along the way, like putting my phone away at 8:30pm, because it makes for a more peaceful, focused evening for family time. Like putting lemon in my gigantic Nalgene of water, because that makes it more palatable first thing in the morning. Oh, and one of my favorites - if a task takes me under one minute to complete, like cleaning up a few dishes after lunch or putting my shoes and purse away when I get home, go ahead and do it. It makes for less compounded amounts of work later on in the day. I learned these little things by really focusing on my day, seeing where I was losing time and being pulled away from my intentions. But these were just little things - I want to share a few of my big takeaways from this experimental month.

1. I am a Powerful Person.
I am capable of a great deal.

It's taken me a loooong time to adjust to life with a baby, and it's taken me even longer to figure out how to do my own life after taking care of all his needs first. It's an exhausting, emotional, never ending merry-go-round of making sure that my son Everett has all his needs met, and then, Stevie's too, and oh yeah, maybe a few of mine here or there. But in October, I took the time to focus on what I really want (which were these very basic, tactical goals) and prioritizing them helped me actually do what needed to be done. I was able to be more productive, more active and more energized because I was actually getting my goals accomplished, little by little. And it made me realize that I'm not only a powerful person, but I've always been a powerful person. I'm just now figuring out how to exert my strength in a way that first and foremost covers my family, but still leaves lots of energy for my goals to be followed through. And discovering my power, especially in this demanding season of life - that is a treasure. I'm proud of me.

2. ... but I am only a Person.
It's impossible to discover strength without uncovering portholes of personal weakness.

In the midst of all the exhilarating strides forward, there were times this month where I was just tired. There were times where I was overwhelmed by the life occurring in my household, times where I was crazy scared (like when I stayed up all night in the ER with my baby son), and times where I was faced with hard choices. Those times made it difficult to see the point of Intentional October. I knew that it was important to me, but in those extenuating circumstances, it certainly didn't seem to matter as much. I was just trying to keep my head above water.

I think that's okay. That's real life. Midway through the month I shared about having grace on myself, because truly, that grace helped me stop punishing myself for stumbling a bit and actually keep me going towards my goals. I could have just gotten bummed for staying up late a few nights in a row and just quit Intentional October all together. But instead, I just forgave myself for not being absolutely perfect, and kept going. And you know what? I'm more proud of that than for actually hitting all my targets head-on. Learning how to handle life's ups and downs is easier said than done. But I am doing it.

3. In order to DO MORE, I must DO LESS.
It's a simple exchange.

Honestly, when I started Intentional October, I had no idea how I was going to make my goals happen. I had a plan, but I was nervous about trying to do SO MANY new things all at once. I didn't want to set myself up for failure, but I also knew that I needed a shock to my system. And over the course of the month, I learned that trying a lot of new things at once isn't impossible, not at all, but it meant that I had to take away some things. In order to add new habits to my life, I had to remove old habits. In order to read more books, I had to watch less TV. In order to wake up earlier, I had to go to bed earlier. In order to drink more water, I had to drink less coffee. Oh let's be honest, I think I figured out a way to drink the same amount of coffee. Maybe even more, with all those early mornings! But this was an interesting discovery, the whole "to do more, you must do less" revelation. Which kind of leads to the next takeaway:

4. Say No.
Go ahead. Do it. It's gooooooood for you.

I'm a bible banger. Matthew 5:37 says, "Let your yes be YES. Let your no be NO."  For me, this verse is so relevant. When I tried to say YES to everything that sounded good this past month, I was overwhelmed with chaos and to-do's. I realized that I can't say too many yes-es. But what worked really well was saying NO. When I said no to things, even good things that I wanted to say yes to - I felt a sense of peace and ownership over my life and my time. A firm NO meant that I could say a triumphant YES to something else. And saying NO just relieved me in so many ways. I had to cancel plans, I had to tell people that I love "no" to things that sounded great - but by doing that, I maintained a peace that was better for me AND for my people. Actively letting my yes be YES and my no be NO made me stronger, more peaceful and much more intentional.

5. Remember the "Why".
It's the driver behind every menial and magnetic action you take.

Why did I attempt change in October in the first place? I've had to remind myself. It's an important driver in the whole goal-making and goal-keeping process. I attempted change in October because in September, I was in a funk. And I am responsible for me. So anytime I got frustrated or overwhelmed this past month (or when I said too many yes-es and not enough no's), I had to take a deep breath and remind myself WHY I was doing all of this. For my own emotional health. For my own personal goals to be fulfilled. To be happy and healthy and to have an abundance of energy and love for myself and my family.

The Stuff of an Intentional Life.
Learning that I'm a powerful human, but still human, is an illuminating truth that is best lived out loud. Here I am, in all my messy vulnerable glory, sharing with you that I am not perfect. And I am perfectly fine with it. My flaws make me real, my yearning makes me real, my humanism might be weak but my spirit is strong strong strong. My penchant for tardiness makes me immature. But my attempt at being early, not just on time; well, eventually I am going to own that life skill. And I will be the girl that is known for respecting everyone so much because I was ON TIME for their thing. That's what this Intentional October month has taught me. It's not about being perfect, it's not about being the most militant, religiously disciplined person on the planet, but it is about creating a healthy structure that I can springboard from. If I'm in the habit of going to bed super early and waking up super early, all to attack that to-do list before my son arises - well, then from time to time, I will be able to deviate from that structure. When life just happens. And I will be able to bounce back into it more quickly.

I am excited to keep moving forward! I have seen so much positive personal change and growth this past month, that I feel like it's been a year! I am adopting these habits from here on out, because I love them. When I hit all of them in one day, I feel like a total rock star. And if I don't hit all of them everyday, I am still a rock star. I am pretty thrilled, because all this effort seems to be paying off. I've scored a handful of freelance writing gigs that I wouldn't have had the time/energy/capacity for in the previous months. But as many of you know, I love writing (obviously, hello, blogger), and I am thrilled for the opportunity to challenge and grow myself in this area. So thank YOU for your support, camaraderie and encouragement during this past month. It's been an enormous source of sustenance.

I want to hear about your experiences! So many of you shared with me as you were going along, and I want to know how your Intentional October goals finished up for you. Did you feel good about the changes you made? Did you feel like you fumbled them? Either way, you are a ROCK STAR. Talk to me, friends! XOX

P.S. - Interested in what Intentional October is all about? Check out why I decided to get intentional in October, the tactics and goals I challenged myself with, and my first week, second week, and third week progress reports :)

Intentional October Update: Week 3.

This picture above is the view through my kitchen window at 5:30 am. Amazing, how it looks so much brighter in the photo than in real life. I think that's how I need to approach my Intentional October goals - they are brighter and more illuminating than they seem with the naked eye. If you're unfamiliar with what Intentional October is all about, you should check out what it means for me, and how I am attempting change this month.

Update.
The thing is, last week I stated that the central focus of the week would be on community; friends and family. And I had so many rich experiences with my people this week! I had the opportunity to celebrate a dear friend's bachelorette party and wedding shower, AND I threw my little sister a surprise wedding shower! Oh, that was really good stuff - she was legitimately surprised. Mission accomplished. Also, my house looks like the set of The Wedding Planner - anyone need to throw a wedding-themed anything? Because I've got you covered. But in all seriousness, I must admit - the interesting thing is that spending time with my loved ones this week often caused me to bend my core values for Intentional October. You can't go out for a fun bachelorette party and still get tucked into bed at 9:30pm. Not possible. You can't go to the gym and exercise when your son has a broken leg and is out of school for the week. And you really can't wake up early if you've been up all night, sick with a fever, only to discover in the morning that your son has one too. Well, that last scenario was a fluke, and had very little to do with my community. But it's been quite a week!

Let's be honest though. That's life, folks. Life just happens. And I want to talk about that a little.

Beating myself up about skipped goals and bent ideals is only a downward spiral. It's not super productive. So I've been learning to start fresh each day, with margins of grace. Grace for scenarios that aren't as rigid as my goals. That's the only way I will continue to stay motivated and find Intentional October continuously fun and inspired. I'm starting to think of Intentional October as my home-base discipline. It's the marathon of life, not a sprint. Sometimes I won't hit every goal of the day. But then tomorrow, I have a fresh start all over again. It's empowering.

Has anyone else run into this on their Intentional October journey? I'd love to hear about how you've been troubleshooting!

Invest in WORK.
The first few weeks of Intentional October were self-focused. Determining a few goals, creating a sustainable calendar for achievement, and getting into the habit of those chosen disciplines. If you're anything like me, those disciplines are still in flex. Continuing to find their place in my hours each day. This past week we focused on our immediate community - how to positively affect our friends and family. This coming week I want to build upon these principles and see how we can make a positive impact in the work place. What does that look like to you? For each of us, that will look different, because the range of "work place" varies significantly. I just want to encourage you to seek out someone at work that could use encouragement, affirmation, or a little extra attention. Take specific time to think through some work place bottle necks - do you have an idea that would better the environment for everyone involved? Gifting just a little special attention to these things could make a positive impact in your work place, so why not try it? Let's.

You've Got This!
I hope you are all still feeling motivated. My thing is, I want to do know that I did my absolute best at the end of this month-long journey. But I also want to know that I lived life to the fullest and enjoyed the vibrant once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. Like watching my sweet modest friend don a silly tiara and veil in public at her bachelorette party. Like watching the shocked look on my sister's face as we all screamed "SURPRISE!!!" at her wickedly fun surprise shower. Like watching my son overcome his broken leg and, STILL, try to walk on it. Smiling at me the whole time. What a little bear. Oh my.

This is the stuff of life. The great moments that I'm not going to miss. And even though there have been moments this week where I've missed a goal here and there, the whole purpose of my goals is to fully embrace THESE moments. And have more of them. And celebrate them. And celebrate me. And celebrate YOU.

Life is beautiful, friends! I believe in your week! Let's make it COUNT!

PS - Did I mention my baby sister is getting married this coming weekend? I'm excited and a mess all at once. Advice for the sister of the bride?! I'm all ears. Or all tears. One of those. :)

Intentional October Update: Week 2

Happy Monday, friends! It's always nice to have a fresh start on Monday, and we are entering our third cycle of the Intentional October journey today! I wrote this update last week, but to be fully transparent with you, my Intentional October goals were the furthest thing from my mind in the days after my son broke his little leg. It has been a whirlwind of figuring out what he needs and wants, since he still can't really tell us everything he's feeling. I could go into details about his break and our emotional journey, but I will save that for another day. Or never. Because it is still just emotional. Today I want to focus on Intentional October, because it's still on! In fact, I am feeling more motivated than ever, and I'll tell you why.

Life Happens. That's what Grace is for.
As you know, the purpose of Intentional October is to create healthier, more productive habits that can be continued onward, past the end of this month. If you're unfamiliar with what Intentional October is all about, you should check out what it means for me, and how I am attempting change this month. The hope is that we all are able to continue to implement these positive tactical changes, whether it's to drink more water, exercise in the morning or tackle the biggest item on the to-do list first thing in the morning.

All that being said, these goals should stretch us past our comfortable zone, but still exist in the realm of REAL LIFE. Because you know what? Real life happened to me this week. My son broke his leg, we were up in the ER until 2am, then he got a cold (probably from staying up in the ER until 2am) and we have all been trying to recover since then. I could easily take this awful circumstance and become consumed by the enormity of it. Or - not.

Intentional October isn't supposed to disqualify me from normal life, it's supposed to help me do my normal life better. It's supposed to help me get stronger, healthier, and be more productive, so that I can have even more love and joy to give to my family. And my family really needs me right now. So I have to cling to my goals even more than ever! It's not a matter of being militant or hard on myself - it's actually about believing in myself and being extra good to me. Real life requires us to have so much grace for ourselves. I'll admit, I've done some dramatic reacting since last week. And because of it, I needed to sleep in. I needed to not exercise for a few days. I needed to cry.

But then something amazing happened. My body almost started shouting at me -  it was craving some of the habits I have been working so hard to cultivate for the past few weeks! I had to go for a run because I felt like my legs were twitching. And look at that picture above - how pretty it was out there! And I was so thirsty and I realized I had been blasting my brains with coffee, but not enough water. And even though I needed to sleep, my eyes have been popping open early the past few mornings. Maybe not 5:30am early, but still early.

I've been learning a lot, friends.

Intentional October is still on. We are halfway (okay a bit more than halfway) through the month, which means we still have a few weeks more for growth. Today is a brand new day, and I am thrilled for the opportunity to live another day so fully.

Focus on the Family.
The first few weeks, the central focus of the month was on our own personal positive change. Keeping all those same tactics going, I want to pivot focus and concentrate on purposely pouring into friends and family. Our community is such a rich, integral part of our lives. It's the ecosystem we exist in and the litmus test for our choices and decisions. These beautiful people are the ones we lean on for support and encouragement, and I feel compelled to focus special effort on them this week. Intentional October should benefit everyone around us. What does that look like to you? It could be writing an encouraging letter to your out-of-town best friend. It could be cleaning your parents' house when they're not at home. It could be taking a little extra time to figure out how to love your spouse best. Figuring out my husband and family's Love Languages has helped me find the best ways to serve them. If you have other tactics for purposely pouring into your loved ones, please post it in the comments below!

I'm sharing this to encourage you - what you're doing this month matters. It's making a difference in your personal life and creating a rippling effect all around you. People will be impacted by those ripples. People will be inspired by your devotion, your discipline, your passion. You are a powerful person! And I know it because I believe it, too. We are powerful people and we are taking a hold of our lives. We are having grace on ourselves and continuing to seek challenge. It's a big deal. It's not cheesy. It's awesome, actually. YOU are awesome.

Talk to me! What's going on with your Intentional October? Give me updates, encouragement, rants, everything! Need some troubleshooting? Don't be afraid to chime in, friends!

Intentional October Update: Week 1.

It's time for an update and a check-in with you! How's your Intentional October going, friends? I'm going to be honest with you - mine has been hard. Harder than I thought it would be! I was so jazzed about this - but actually putting it into practice everyday has been really really challenging. I don't want to wake up early. And I really miss zoning out and watching TV at night. Discipline is hard!

I'll give you a rough overview of where I'm at:

My Tactics:
1. Wake up early.
5:30 AM to be exact. - Um, this has been challenging. Really really really.

2. Drink a Nalgene of water.
Right when I wake up, before consuming anything else. - This has been great. I actually crave my enormous Nalgene of lemon water when I wake up. It's hard to drink the whole thing so early, but I'm really trying to force myself to get it done within the first hour of the day. I feel so much better all morning long.

3. Have 10-20ish minutes of quiet time.
Reading, praying, journaling. - This has, surprisingly, been my favorite! I have paired it with some early morning stretches, and I am loving this time. I'm no yogi, but I feel exhilarated, stretching in the quiet morning hour. Making this action a part of my morning prayers seriously makes me feel like I am moving mountains here!

4. Exercise in the morning.
For the most part, getting myself outside to run has just been awful - I am wheezing and crampy and I feel like my lungs are going to explode. I guess that's what they call being out of shape, huh? But yesterday I finally had a break through run with my sis-in-law Lauren and I actually enjoyed the run. So, progress! But I've been at the gym a few times this week, too, and I am feeling good about getting back into some light weight lifting.

5. Eat a healthy breakfast.
This has been good. I'm still trying to figure out the best time to eat in conjunction with feeding my kid and exercising in the morning, but I am really enjoying a half a banana, sliced, on a buttered waffle in the mornings. Have you tried Kerrygold butter? I am obsessed. People are way too down on butter - this butter is so gooooood.

6. Tackle the biggest item on my to-do list.
This has been great. I feel so much more productive and accomplished by midday! My mornings are pretty full, especially with a baby in tow, but when lunch time rolls around I feel like I have tackled a TON. But I also feel like I need a nap, haha. I get jealous when I put Everett down for his nap and I have half a mind to just jump in the crib with him. Babies are so lucky.

7. Read in the evenings.
I am officially sucking at this one. I want to read, I SO DO, but I am not getting in bed early enough to read before I want the lights to go out. I read a few times this week, but a few times I also dropped into bed so exhausted, and later than planned. Which nixed the reading. I'm currently reading The Happiness Project, which is giving me some good tips for this intentional journey I am on.

8. Go to bed early.
Lights out at 9:30pm. - This has been really hard to do. Why is it so hard? Why are there so many bedtime activities that MUST BE DONE? I find myself at 9:15 folding laundry, picking up Everett's shoes that he has thrown in the bathtub, and decluttering my bedroom. 9:30 just comes around SO EARLY.

The consensus? I've still got my work cut out for me. I am not as disciplined as I would like. I mentioned here that the focus this past week would be on ourselves, and then we would expand from there. However, I am going to take another week to really hone in on the discipline aspect for myself. It's another self-focused week, to tweak the things that haven't gone right, and create a rhythm for these activities to thrive in my life.

How are you doing with your intentions? Have you hit any roadblocks this week? What activities are working for you? Any advice for the class?