To 3-Month-old You.
/It's true what they say, the time passes more quickly with the second babe. I can't imagine what the third, fourth and fifth times feel like - something like leaping into the future with each passing moment? I perhaps that's what all this is, anyway. This thing called living. Raising you. You're an absolute joy, Daxton bear.
Of course, the exhaustion isn't a surprise. But it is just as brutal as I remember it being with your big brother. Somehow I forgot how debilitating lack of sleep can be. The morning fog of feeding you, changing you, making your brother breakfast, gulping down water and vitamins in a flurry of getting him off to preschool, and then a hazy crescendo into the quiet of laundry, cleaning the kitchen and coffeeing my very soul.
You, my son, are just as perfect as can be. You are sweet and good, and your calm heart actually ministers to my busy jumbled self. You help me slow down. You help me remember my purpose. Not because you scream or cry (you do these things, but not nearly as much as I expected you would). But you have helped me realize that mothering you and your bro is just the absolute privilege of my life. Even when I am frustrated that I didn't get my workout in, my blog posts have gone unfinished, my kitchen is a nightmare and my sleep is interrupted - I am certain that you are part of my very purpose here on Earth. And I am changing the world, just by being with you. You are going to do brilliant things with your hands, your heart, your words. Your life is already rippling the destiny of so many others, causing and affecting great wonders in all the Earth. I am so proud of you, beautiful boy. You are growing stronger with each breath. You are mighty, in fact. And you are so long.
Somehow you are three months old. These days you are smiling, right at me. You are talking. (Okay, you are cooing, but I know you are talking right to me when you do it.) You are aware of all of us and you love when your brother gives you kisses. You have a little fox stuffed animal that has been named "Bear" for you (thank you Everett?) and I actually think you like that little thing. You aren't a fan of hats, but kid - it's been really cold outside. I'm sorryyyyy. You look handomest in blue. You are wearing 12-month onesies. You like seeing yourself in the mirror. And you have already changed all of us for the absolute better.
You are such a piece of Heaven. You are my peaceful one.
I love, love love you. Thanks for letting me be your mom.