Remembering and Forgetting.

My little boy is 6 months old, and I'm starting to forget.

I close my eyes really tight and try to conjure up the moments leading up to his birth. That incredible pain. Fear. The anticipation of meeting him. The strange wonder if it really was a him or if the doctors had somehow detected the "It's a boy!"-fact wrong. The clinical taste in the room. The sweat slicking all too easily off my skin. The early afternoon light peering through the window, bending in prisms around the Atlanta skyline. My husband's face, spilling over with hope and confidence in me. I can see his mouth forming words, coaching, encouraging, but I can't hear anything. He's speaking to me, for me, cheering me on, but I can't hear. I want to hear it, but I can only feel. His words are pulsing me. My body metabolizes every morsel, each utter, energizing the next push, and the next, and the next. Crying? No, there's no time for that. All the energy, emotion, spirit, power, it's all channeled into these few final, steady, manic moments. Breathe and push. Push like you never knew you could. The intrinsic, most feminine forces of my existence knitting together for the final gasps. This heady, rich sensation. Like being close to death but also very close to life. Everything suddenly crisps and I am there, body stammering, squatting, peeling my way around, and then.

Then.

I. Am. So. Glad. It is over.

He's here. He's mine. Wow, that's what he looks like. He looks so small and yet so so big. Rippled body, ruddy face, covered in a slimy something that I should find disgusting, except that I can't. Because he is so mine. And instantly I am his. And I know know know this is what I was created to do. I don't understand the journey until that very moment, the whole life journey that I've taken, but all of the sudden I know that he was part of the purpose all along.

Well, I guess I can remember it.

But I am forgetting a little bit day by day and I don't know if that's a good thing. Because I want to remember it as much as I want to forget it. And at the same time I find myself staring at him, this little boy who can already do so much, this beautiful specimen that I created, and I just wonder if it happened to me at all. I wonder if it was all unreal, if I'm remembering some scene from a movie, and not the most authentic moment of my being.

These are the feelings I haven't quite been able to process for 6 months. Six months to the day, actually. I'm starting to come out of a fog, though. Out of the fog, and I am grasping for this powerful memory that I may or may not be able to really remember. But as it unfolds itself to me, I am undone and overwhelmed at the gift. Staring in wonder and amazement at my dear-hearted, beautiful boy.

Staying Connected Long Distance

Staying Connected Long-Distance.

I've been pondering a bit lately about this generation I live in. As part of this nostalgic, wanderlusting group of millennials, I find that I am always seeking adventure and the thrill of achieving a goal. Can I get an amen?

I feel so grateful to be a tiny cog in this vast system, to be part of a network of people who have SMARTPHONES, the ability to travel the world and the belief in themselves to chase unlikely dreams. Especially as a woman. We have the whole wonderful world at our fingertips! But you know what comes with that incredible privilege? The cost of living far away from your tribe of loved ones. I don't know about you, but I have a pretty fiercely awesome tribe back home in Atlanta. And along my journey I've had the incredible opportunity to meet new friends, to admire their unusual path and listen to their tales of overcoming the odds. And I love that. But as much as I fancy following the beat of my own drum, I find that I'm saying goodbye far more often than I like. Stepping onto an airplane, hanging up the phone, ending the Skype session, leaving the lovely coziness of those safe, beautiful people whom I cherish. I can't be the only one who experiences this. So many of you are in the same situation. Sigh.

Here are a few ways I’ve learned to intentionally stay in touch, while living far away from my loved ones:

1. Powering Up the Smartphone.

Yes, texting is convenient, and obviously Facetime is an awesome tool to actually SEE your treasured ones when you chat, but I have a confession to make. I, along with every other American middle schooler, use Snapchat just about every day. But only with my sisters! It's a really fun, private way for us to share silly moments with each other, like a delicious breakfast, early morning bed-head and lately, my growing baby belly. Having this fun, confidential forum with my sisters has been a great way to keep tabs on each other's little moments in life, not just the weekly milestones. Download Snapchat for the iPhone here or Android here. Yes, you might feel a little childish, but I promise you will get addicted to feeling so connected.

2. Sending REAL Mail.

Remember when people used to write letters? One of my favorite old-timey movies is The Shop Around the Corner (the brilliant precursor to You've Got Mail), which is a sweet Jimmy Stewart classic that is centered on the semi-lost art of letter writing. The film is about two employees who loathe each other, and yet are secretly falling in love, because they are anonymous pen pals. It’s a must-see! And the depiction of the letter-writing is so sweet, the way the envelopes were sealed with wax and the penmanship was so loopy and dainty. I can imagine living in those days, just waiting desperately at the mailbox for the postman to deliver a heart-felt message from a faraway love. Ah, the days of yore. Nowadays I love to write notes via snail mail, because it feels so personal to actually pen a message in my own words and handwriting. I love this customized stationary from Treat. And if you’re feeling extra creative, you can even personalize your greeting by adding a memorable photo. Suuuuuper cute.

3. Blogging.

This is a no-brainer, since you are currently reading this post and you KNOW that I blog. I developed Oy! when I moved from Atlanta to Boston in 2011. It was partly a post-college way to keep myself immersed in my love for writing, partly a way to document the many adventures I was experiencing, and partly a way to keep my friends and family up to date on my life. And it has served all of those purposes. I am overwhelmed by the positive feedback that I've received from sharing my stories in this forum. It's been such a blast developing the content and I can’t believe how much I’ve fallen in love with blogging. Who would have known?? Many thanks to the ladies over at Maiedae, who designed this blog, and encouraged the development of its theme. If you’re interested in sharing your stories, you should definitely check out A Beautiful Mess for their e-courses on blogging. And get to it! Because I know there are people out there who want to hear your stories.

For those of you who live far away from your kinfolk, what creative ideas do you have for keeping in touch?

*I’m excited to announce that this post is brought to you in collaboration with Treat, a Shutterfly brand. While I could have happily discussed creative ideas with their adorable team for hours, all the content, words and ideas are my own. Thanks for supporting this sponsor and allowing me to create fresh and unique content like this for Oy!

September 24.

"With mirth and laughter Let the old wrinkles come." - William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

September likes Sapphires.

I gotta say. I love this day.

I stumbled upon this sweet blog post called The Cultureur about a gal who turned 28 and wrote her 18-year-old self a letter. She outlined a few "words of wisdom"; things she would tell herself if she had known then what she knows now. I thought it was an incredible concept, and I couldn't help but smile while I read a few of her pearls of wisdom that I felt were close to my heart, including:

- "Set your own goals, do not pay attention to the timeline of society"

- "TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL. Learn about the world, different cultures, other ways of living, and more importantly, yourself."

- "Know your worth and act like it."

- "Never apologize for who you are and what you've accomplished."

- "Take risks and push your limits. If you do what you've always done you will only have what you've always had."

- "As Mark Twain said, 'Twenty years from now you will regret the things you didn't do, rather than the ones you did.'"

Today, I am reflecting on my journey thus far. My years. My curious experiences. This life has taken me on some windy roads that I wouldn't have planned or imagined, but I can say with full assurance that there isn't anyone else's life I would rather have. I love my life. To be honest, in my current season, I am a little scared. I am a little unsure. And I don't know a lot. I certainly don't know exactly what I'm doing. But I believe in me. I really do. I welcome my incoming year with open arms and a (semi-freaked) vulnerable heart. Let this 26th year wash over me with adventure, peace and grace to be dangerously courageous. And if you've got pearls of wisdom for my 26th year, hit me. All ears.

Much love.