"What Are You Proud Of?"

"What Are You Proud Of?"

It was a very good question she posed.

"What are you proud of?"

I glanced around the warmly-lit table, littered with appetizer plates and cocktail napkins, earnestly seeking the eyes of my friends as they processed this question for themselves. These women. Each one present at this table, each one here to celebrate the wonderful year we had. A post-Christmas, post-New Years get together, a celebration of all kinds of sorts. These dear old friends whom I trusted and loved and yet, I didn't know their answer to this question. Which means they probably didn't know mine.

What am I proud of. What am I proud of?

"Babies aside, of course," she qualified.

Well, of course. We all had given birth to our first babies within the past 18 months, so that trump card had to be set aside. Which, in all ways, made the question even more challenging. And surprisingly intimate. Having a baby is such an obvious answer to this question, which meant I would have to dig a little deeper to pinpoint exactly what else I am proud of. What made me proud over the course of the past year? What did I accomplish? What did I surprise myself by doing?

Other than birthing a human?

Suddenly my answer was very very clear. As I began speaking, my body was pulsed with a kind of euphoria that comes from an incredible sense of clarity. It's what we external processors experience when we realize we are finally coming to terms with something as we discuss it. And I want to share this bit of revelation with you today, because my "ah-ha!" is not an obvious one. It's not a duh, I-won-the-Nobel, nailed it!- kind of answer.

I am proud because about 18 months ago, I moved to New York City and attempted my life-long dream of becoming an actress. And I am proud because I kind of fell flat on my face in doing so.

This might seem like the wrong approach. Like, hello Kristen, did you hear the question correctly? But this is precisely why I am proud of what I did. I set my sights on something incredibly scary. And you know what? A lot of things that I was scared of, well, they came true. But I'm here. I lived through it. I didn't crumble.

I want you to imagine the biggest dream in your heart, ever. The thing you're scared to think, let alone actually voice to anyone. The thing that you're so embarrassed that you would ever even dare to dream. The thing that makes you sweat and tremble. That thing, for me, has always been acting. It might always be acting. It's been a life-long hobby, the earliest desire I can remember, a kind of dream vocation, and last year, it was my number one priority. Until I saw this strip turn pink. Suddenly my life just changed. It was no longer my own. But that's another story. Not the story I'm here to tell you today.

But when I moved to New York (three months prior to the whole strip-changing-pink-thing), I did so without any real connections in the business. I decided to dig my heels into the swirling world of auditioning for television and commercial roles in hopes of landing some awesome gig and then, you know, figured I'd be hitting the Oscars parties later in the year. Just kidding (I mean, only a little.) But I was committed to this dream. I built myself a business plan. Fresh head shots, brand new website, new reel, new business cards, the works. And I put myself out there in a big way. I auditioned for an artist development program (and got it!), landed two agents and a talent manager, and auditioned for all kinds of roles that made me uncomfortable and challenged and sweaty. So sweaty. I carried deodorant and applied it in the elevators on my way up to each audition room. I got lost on the subway, attempting to find my way to different studios around town. Clutching my headshot and resume, and later, pregnancy books and healthy snacks (to keep me busy in the waiting rooms), I did some strange auditions. Once I was asked to portray complete "frailty" and vulnerability by using only my facial features. "No words?" I asked, trembling and clenching the script close to my heart. The script they had given me, the one I had memorized. "Forget the words," the director answered. "Feel the moment. Use your expression." Ummmmm k. Then they ran the camera for 5 minutes of silence. That was awkward. Needless to say, I was pretty frail and vulnerable when I left that audition. And no, I did not get the part.

In fact, that brings me to what I wanted to share with you next. I didn't get the part. I didn't get hardly any parts. I was in New York for just shy of a year, and I don't really have any substantial *wins* to my acting resume from that experience. I just auditioned a lot. I auditioned several times each week. I took a ton of classes, usually along with 2-3 seminars per week. I had private coaching sessions. I met with agents and casting directors and other actors. I made actor friends. I made a fool of myself so often. Each time I stepped out my apartment door, I took a deep breath and knew that I was walking into the unknown. Knew that I could get asked all kinds of strange questions in the audition room. Knew that I had to prepare for literally anything. "Get down on the floor and bark like a dog", could be the direction once I got in that audition room, and I had to prepare myself for that. I pushed all kinds of personal limits and challenged myself every day. I was really, truly, squeamishly uncomfortable for the good part of a year.

And I have very little to show for it. At least on paper.

And you know what? I feel really, really proud of this. I do! I am proud of being a risk taker and going for my dream. So often, people only share their harrowing stories once they accomplish their big dream. I'm here today to tell you that you don't just have to be proud of yourself once a big, monumental, Frodo-esque journey is behind you. I am proud of myself for the strange, semi-awkward, mid-journey swagger of which I am currently toeing the line.

I am a work in progress.

I am not finished becoming me.

I am not finished taking risks.

I didn't become a famous, accomplished actress last year. I did everything in my power, everything I knew to do, even after I became pregnant, and you know what? My dream did not come true. It just didn't. But that's not the end of my dream or the end of my story. I didn't shrivel up and just die.

Instead of the year being all about me and my dreams, it became all about this crazy wonderful unexpected little person named Everett. So even though I invested all this time and energy into my own self, it became entirely about someone else. Him.

I became his mom. That was an enormous surprise to me. And you know what's funny? Becoming a mom, well, that's someone else's big dream. And somewhere out there, someone who always dreamed of becoming a mom is probably having the big break of their lives in Hollywood because they just nailed an audition for a killer part. That. Is life. *Cue this Alanis Morissette jam*

Do I question the timing of everything? Sure, who wouldn't. But I want to encourage you, especially if you're mulling over the dreams in your own heart, the personal risks that you have taken, and the supposed "failures" that you've had. If you feel like you fit into one of those categories, I congratulate you. You are awesome for taking a risk and for enduring all the voices who said you couldn't/shouldn't do it. Because that incredible risk you took, well, did it kill you? If you're still breathing while you read this, it didn't. Which means your likely to take another risk in your long, delicately lovely life. And for those of you who are pre-risk? You are toying around with the idea of doing something "insane" to go after your dream? I encourage you to do it. There might be all kinds of "failure" at the end of the rainbow. There might really be. Or there might be an entirely new opportunity that ironically appears like a diamond in the rough. You might realize your dream has morphed. You might realize the dream isn't really the dream. You might realize you embody the person you've always wanted to be, and the dream was just a driver to get you to that personal place of bliss and success.

Welcome to the club. This isn't the club of snazzy do-ers. This is the haven for risk-takers and situation-celebrators. The lemonade-makers, the challenge-attractors and the laugh-instead-of-cry-at-my-circumstance-ers. I am proud of you, and I am proud of me.

New Headshots!

Start spreading the news I'm leaving today I want to be apart of it New York, New York. - Frank Sinatra, "New York, New York"

Let's Get It Started.

Well... we've moved. To New York. For those of you who don't know, my husband got a post-MBA job here in this big, apple-icious city, and I couldn't be more thrilled. I have worked part-time as an actress and voice over artist in Atlanta and Boston over the past several years, and I am eager to take the plunge full-time and learn the industry in New York. Because it's out there! Right out my door! And I've gotta leverage that.

All that being said... I'm excited to share my updated headshots with you. Shot last month in the grand green pastures of Georgia with the uber-talented photographer/acting coach extraordinaire Barbara Benevil, these snapshots are ready to showcase a new (and hopefully improved) Kristen to the entertainment industry. Check them out and let me know what you think in the comments section!

These are just a preview! Link over to my acting site for more photos and stay tuned to my new Facebook page for more info and updates on my journey in entertainment - there are exciting things brewing over here in the Hale household! Excited to share more in the coming weeks!

You can help! If you are someone or know someone I should reach out to in the Manhattan/Brooklyn area regarding Film/TV/Voiceover/Print work, please don't hesitate to reach out! I am eager to meet people in this industry. I've got a lot to learn!

Thanks for your support!

On Set: "Hot Damn" Music Video

Last weekend I was home in Atlanta for the briefest of moments, and I had the chance to work on my friend's music video. Actually, I had several awesome friends involved in this project and it was an absolute blast to work with them all day. The music video was for my friend Ryan Snow's song "Hot Damn" which is the first single off his new album, out in July. My excessively talented friend Drew Kaiser directed the video shoot and absolutely blew me away with his creativity, leadership and precision. His entire team at Southern Lights Productions were so excellent and efficient. I've been on many a set and I don't often brag about the efficiency or just overall niceness of the crew. But these folks are truly golden and deserve a shout out. Many thanks to Drew KaiserJordan McBrideLauren BrockJenna WessingerLogan Freaking ShawverRenonda Andersonand of course, Ryan Snow. This was one for the books.

The video was set in 1920's prohibition-era, so there was no shortage of long cigarettes, sparkly-fringed dresses and fake eyelashes. My favorite part of the day? Hanging out with so many righteously fun people. No lie. My gal pal Katie Casper was in from L.A. and we had a great time catching up in between dancing takes. And I had the super cool opportunity to meet several of the artists on Ryan's label, Big Snow Entertainment, including Dana KelsonJustin Monday and Brittany Young, who were also on set for the day. The only bummer of the entire day? I left my pearl earrings with wardrobe and had to turn around and drive back to pick them up. My silly accident. Oh, and there was a wardrobe malfunction... hopefully that evidence will only end up on the cutting room floor. Haha just kidding. Or am I...?

Major thanks go out to everyone at Southern Lights ProductionsBig Love Cuts and Big Snow Entertainment! Can't wait to work together again!

Stay tuned for more photos and the video to come (probably July) and check out this projecton my site :-)

Acting Website Launch: www.KristenNicoleHale.com

Breaking That Leg

I've totally teased you. But I'm happy to announce that my acting website is up and running and I wanted to share it with my Oy!-letts first. This site houses all the film projects and media that I've worked on thus far. It's a great tool to send casting directors and agents when they want to see my work (and are considering actors for auditions.) It's totally scary to be vulnerable and put yourself out there, but I'm (slowly) learning to showcase what I love to do without apologizing for it. Part of this industry is connecting with as many people as possible, so I wanted to share this site with YOU as part of my way of making those connections.

 I'd love for you to take a peek and let me know what you think!

Beware: Shameless Plug Forthcoming

I am moving to NYC at the beginning of August and I am going to hit it hard auditioning. If you know anyone that I should talk to there and you are feeling generous to make the connection, please let me know! I might just send you a box of cookies. And they might even be Girl Scout cookies.

Thanks again for your love and support!

Dream Project: Casting and Collages

Life Is But A Dream.

The Dream Project is becoming my life. It's funny though, because I wouldn't characterize it as "living the dream" quite yet. I spend my days submitting myself for auditions, going to auditions, prepping for auditions and reading books about, you got it, auditions. It's pretty all-encompassing. Thank goodness I have Carrie, who keeps me sane and pretends that I am behaving like a normal human being.

And she does art projects with me. That's the true sign of a good friend.

Ever since I was a little girl, I've been making collages as a way of getting my creative juices flowing. I would cut out pictures of anything inspiring, funny and empowering. You should give it a try; it's a very revealing exercise that literally captures a visual of what inspires you at the moment. Every season of life is different and showcases a new facet of the journey. For me, it's especially fun to look back over the different collages through the years and see which words, colors and ideals I was drawn to "back in the day." So, of course, I thought it was only natural to make a dream collage as I embark upon this new chapter of life. Carrie came over, we assembled the appropriate treats and crafty tools and got to work.

Inspiration and Invitations.

Thankfully, every time I look at my new collage, I am reminded of what inspires me in this current season. Confidence, going for dreams and lots of light, haha. Something must be working because I booked a role and spent Monday on the set of a short film. Wahoo! I had so much fun working with Derick, Sue and all the crew at Mass Media Vision and playing a really silly character. I'll share clips and photos with you as soon as I have them. (Currently working on a new acting site, so I will put everything up there and link over to it in the next few weeks.)

Feeling uninspired? Feeling the winter blahs? I encourage you to scan your old Instyle and Health magazines and cut out anything that stands out to you. Give yourself 30 minutes. Maybe make a hot beverage. Enjoy a bit of "me" time and see what comes of it. I bet you will be surprised/impressed/inspired by what you see. And by how amazing YOU are.