40 Wonderful Things About You.

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sometimes I forget that I am wonderful.

Sometimes I get busy and overwhelmed, trying to strike the unicorn balance of working and being a good mom & wife, and I easily fall prey to the lies of the world: You are not enough. And I know that it's not true, but when exhaustion intersects with circumstantial emotion, all bets are off. I usually cope with said feelings by binging on Netflix with a side of wine/ice cream/kettle corn.

Do you know that you're wonderful? If you are a living, breathing being, you are a wonder. And I want you to know that you are wonderful.

Recently I was reminded of a more restorative way to rejuvenate (than my Netflix addiction), one that I used to practice years ago and made such an immensely positive impact on me. I learned about speaking aloud positive declarations while I was in ministry school from a guest speaker, Steve Backlund. He supplied my class with a list of declarations that were scriptures from the bible. I took those scriptures and used them, but I also wrote some declarations of my own. I used to wake up and declare the scriptures and my personal declarations about my day, before the day even got started. I would usually do it in the morning when I was fixing my hair and putting on make up. The declarations were taped to my bathroom mirror, so there was no way to miss it, and I would speak each one aloud. At first it felt a little goofy, but the more I did it, the more I believed what I was saying. I want to share with you today, because I am back at this practice again and it feels so, so SO good, and I want to invite you to join me. If you need a little boost. I'm not saying you do. Here are the scriptures that I used, and here are my 40 personally-written declarations:

1. I am enough.
2. I am lovable.
3. I am a beautiful person.
4. I light up the world with my gifts.
5. The world is a gift from God and I have a meaningful place in it.
6. I am worthy.
7. Today will be a great day.
8. I cannot satisfy all of my needs, but I am responsible to see them satisfied.
9. I am enormously blessed.
10. I am capable.
11. I am moving forward.
12. It's okay to change my mind.
13. I make great decisions.
14. I don't need other people's approval.
15. I am proud of myself.
16. I make a difference in the world.
17. I am a great wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend.
18. I choose to forgive those who have hurt me.
19. My body works perfectly.
20. I have a good sense of humor about the circumstances of my life.
21. I am a selfless listener.
22. I have nothing to be afraid of.
23. I am strong and healthy.
24. I am capable.
25. I am immensely loved.
26. I am a child of God.
27. I am flexible.
28. The world is a better place because I am in it.
29. I am going to make the best out of today.
30. Nothing will stop me.
31. I am consistent and adventurous.
31. I will take time to be kind to others.
32. I am an encourager to everyone around me.
33. I have every reason to be bold.
34. I am good at managing my money, my time, my talent and my resources.
35. I walk in peace.
36. I have promise.
37. I will find opportunities to be radically generous today.
38. I am cared for.
39. I have good things to say.
40. I have a voice.

Have you ever tried this type of practice? What are some declarations that you would add to this list? I would love to hear from you!

The 5 Takeaways I Discovered During Intentional October.

When I think back on the month of October, I am a bit baffled by how much actually occurred in just one month. I personally experienced a lot in just a mere 31 days! Several destination weddings, budding work assignments, my son's accident, a nasty bout of sickness - all in the midst of a month where I was attempting significant lifestyle change. There were so many times during the past month where I felt the temptation to let go of my Intentional October goals because I was just exhausted by all the life going on around me. There were so many "good" reasons why I could have/should have - but I felt an urgency to keep going. To do my best, even if I slipped up a little here or there.

I learned some mini lessons along the way, like putting my phone away at 8:30pm, because it makes for a more peaceful, focused evening for family time. Like putting lemon in my gigantic Nalgene of water, because that makes it more palatable first thing in the morning. Oh, and one of my favorites - if a task takes me under one minute to complete, like cleaning up a few dishes after lunch or putting my shoes and purse away when I get home, go ahead and do it. It makes for less compounded amounts of work later on in the day. I learned these little things by really focusing on my day, seeing where I was losing time and being pulled away from my intentions. But these were just little things - I want to share a few of my big takeaways from this experimental month.

1. I am a Powerful Person.
I am capable of a great deal.

It's taken me a loooong time to adjust to life with a baby, and it's taken me even longer to figure out how to do my own life after taking care of all his needs first. It's an exhausting, emotional, never ending merry-go-round of making sure that my son Everett has all his needs met, and then, Stevie's too, and oh yeah, maybe a few of mine here or there. But in October, I took the time to focus on what I really want (which were these very basic, tactical goals) and prioritizing them helped me actually do what needed to be done. I was able to be more productive, more active and more energized because I was actually getting my goals accomplished, little by little. And it made me realize that I'm not only a powerful person, but I've always been a powerful person. I'm just now figuring out how to exert my strength in a way that first and foremost covers my family, but still leaves lots of energy for my goals to be followed through. And discovering my power, especially in this demanding season of life - that is a treasure. I'm proud of me.

2. ... but I am only a Person.
It's impossible to discover strength without uncovering portholes of personal weakness.

In the midst of all the exhilarating strides forward, there were times this month where I was just tired. There were times where I was overwhelmed by the life occurring in my household, times where I was crazy scared (like when I stayed up all night in the ER with my baby son), and times where I was faced with hard choices. Those times made it difficult to see the point of Intentional October. I knew that it was important to me, but in those extenuating circumstances, it certainly didn't seem to matter as much. I was just trying to keep my head above water.

I think that's okay. That's real life. Midway through the month I shared about having grace on myself, because truly, that grace helped me stop punishing myself for stumbling a bit and actually keep me going towards my goals. I could have just gotten bummed for staying up late a few nights in a row and just quit Intentional October all together. But instead, I just forgave myself for not being absolutely perfect, and kept going. And you know what? I'm more proud of that than for actually hitting all my targets head-on. Learning how to handle life's ups and downs is easier said than done. But I am doing it.

3. In order to DO MORE, I must DO LESS.
It's a simple exchange.

Honestly, when I started Intentional October, I had no idea how I was going to make my goals happen. I had a plan, but I was nervous about trying to do SO MANY new things all at once. I didn't want to set myself up for failure, but I also knew that I needed a shock to my system. And over the course of the month, I learned that trying a lot of new things at once isn't impossible, not at all, but it meant that I had to take away some things. In order to add new habits to my life, I had to remove old habits. In order to read more books, I had to watch less TV. In order to wake up earlier, I had to go to bed earlier. In order to drink more water, I had to drink less coffee. Oh let's be honest, I think I figured out a way to drink the same amount of coffee. Maybe even more, with all those early mornings! But this was an interesting discovery, the whole "to do more, you must do less" revelation. Which kind of leads to the next takeaway:

4. Say No.
Go ahead. Do it. It's gooooooood for you.

I'm a bible banger. Matthew 5:37 says, "Let your yes be YES. Let your no be NO."  For me, this verse is so relevant. When I tried to say YES to everything that sounded good this past month, I was overwhelmed with chaos and to-do's. I realized that I can't say too many yes-es. But what worked really well was saying NO. When I said no to things, even good things that I wanted to say yes to - I felt a sense of peace and ownership over my life and my time. A firm NO meant that I could say a triumphant YES to something else. And saying NO just relieved me in so many ways. I had to cancel plans, I had to tell people that I love "no" to things that sounded great - but by doing that, I maintained a peace that was better for me AND for my people. Actively letting my yes be YES and my no be NO made me stronger, more peaceful and much more intentional.

5. Remember the "Why".
It's the driver behind every menial and magnetic action you take.

Why did I attempt change in October in the first place? I've had to remind myself. It's an important driver in the whole goal-making and goal-keeping process. I attempted change in October because in September, I was in a funk. And I am responsible for me. So anytime I got frustrated or overwhelmed this past month (or when I said too many yes-es and not enough no's), I had to take a deep breath and remind myself WHY I was doing all of this. For my own emotional health. For my own personal goals to be fulfilled. To be happy and healthy and to have an abundance of energy and love for myself and my family.

The Stuff of an Intentional Life.
Learning that I'm a powerful human, but still human, is an illuminating truth that is best lived out loud. Here I am, in all my messy vulnerable glory, sharing with you that I am not perfect. And I am perfectly fine with it. My flaws make me real, my yearning makes me real, my humanism might be weak but my spirit is strong strong strong. My penchant for tardiness makes me immature. But my attempt at being early, not just on time; well, eventually I am going to own that life skill. And I will be the girl that is known for respecting everyone so much because I was ON TIME for their thing. That's what this Intentional October month has taught me. It's not about being perfect, it's not about being the most militant, religiously disciplined person on the planet, but it is about creating a healthy structure that I can springboard from. If I'm in the habit of going to bed super early and waking up super early, all to attack that to-do list before my son arises - well, then from time to time, I will be able to deviate from that structure. When life just happens. And I will be able to bounce back into it more quickly.

I am excited to keep moving forward! I have seen so much positive personal change and growth this past month, that I feel like it's been a year! I am adopting these habits from here on out, because I love them. When I hit all of them in one day, I feel like a total rock star. And if I don't hit all of them everyday, I am still a rock star. I am pretty thrilled, because all this effort seems to be paying off. I've scored a handful of freelance writing gigs that I wouldn't have had the time/energy/capacity for in the previous months. But as many of you know, I love writing (obviously, hello, blogger), and I am thrilled for the opportunity to challenge and grow myself in this area. So thank YOU for your support, camaraderie and encouragement during this past month. It's been an enormous source of sustenance.

I want to hear about your experiences! So many of you shared with me as you were going along, and I want to know how your Intentional October goals finished up for you. Did you feel good about the changes you made? Did you feel like you fumbled them? Either way, you are a ROCK STAR. Talk to me, friends! XOX

P.S. - Interested in what Intentional October is all about? Check out why I decided to get intentional in October, the tactics and goals I challenged myself with, and my first week, second week, and third week progress reports :)

When Two of Your Favorite People Meet.

When Two of Your Favorite People Meet.

This happened a few weeks ago. Technically there are three of my favorite people in this picture, but Stevie and my dear Aunt Shirley know each other well. But it was the greatest privilege for me to witness my son meeting the snazzy, savvy, sweetheart that is my Aunt. Somehow my heart managed to melt a bit more. I thought it had done all the melting it could possibly do.

My Aunt Shirley has been a life-long inspiration. Not only is she overly-accomplished with an impressively long resume and all the accolades of the world, she is a woman of endless compassion and unparalleled conviction. She's basically Mother Theresa, serving all her extra time for others, and encouraging her students to join her many efforts. If I could emulate her character a tiny little bit at the end of my life, I would gladly call myself blessed and be done. And her joy! I don't know anyone who is more positive! Well, she and my mother-in-law can duke it out, because they are the two most positive people I know. FYI It's a really beautiful thing to be surrounded by practically blind positivity, by the way. Makes you feel like the world is your oyster. And why wouldn't I want my darling boy to be surrounded and influenced to believe that (because it's true!) But her kind of positivity isn't blind. It's fierce, statuesque, absolute in it's hope for what is the best kind of good. I am so lucky to have this woman as my guidepost, looking out for me, correcting me, smiling her big gorgeous, mischievous smile at me. Oh that Italian broad.

I hope your holiday weekend is filled with family time that makes you feel uplifted, full of hope, and encouraged beyond measure. Because that is a treasure not to be diminished. And if you don't have family like that? Well, then BE the family that does that. We have such a few precious days on this Earth. If you have the opportunity to be a person like Aunt Shirley to a little person like Everett, DO IT. The impact will be a pulsating, rippling, life-changing kind, and really, what else matters? Not career. Not money. But a little person being shaken by absolute love, acceptance and sheer hope for the future? Well, you could say that's kind of what this holiday weekend is all about.

Happy Easter, friends.

A Moment for Me.

A Moment for Me.

It's 9:21 am and I am finally sitting down to my cup of coffee.

And an egg with avocado toast. Mmm. The smell of my coffee signals my consciousness that it's finally here, the coveted me time of the day. It's already been a maniacal morning, but in this very moment, a stillness washes over the room and I am almost at peace.

The baby is down for his morning nap, the husband is off at the salt mines (just kidding, work), and I have a few holy moments all to myself. Sometimes its hard to know quite what to do with these moments. There is a battle in my chest (I always imagine my mind in my chest, I don't know why?) throwing arrows at each other for who wins the awarded me time today. There is a rush from one side of my mind/chest that overwhelms me in a swelling wave, "Pick up the vacuum cleaner! Throw in that load of laundry (or 6)! Get started on food prep for dinner!", and there's another part of me that shouts, "Do something for yourself! Write that collaborative post for such and such company! Throw on some yoga pants and stretch! Submit a story to Real Simple Magazine (like you've been wanting to do)! Get back to those 6 people hanging out in your Gmail inbox that are waiting for your response!" Yes, the battle might seem silly to you. But it's my internal struggle. And then there's the never-ending to-do list. That could use some of my attention, as well. But the truth is, none of those things will reallllllly make me feel accomplished or valuable. In the moment, yes, I can do a few of those tasks and check the boxes on my list. And that is a good, valid reason to feel some sort of meaning today.  But I want more than to just feel good and valid.

Sitting silently, hands cupped around this beautiful piece of glazed pottery containing the morning's mystical blackened ambrosia, well, that's just what I'm going to do right now. I'm going to sit. In silence. And I'm gonna drink my coffee.

Eyes closed, mug poised at my lips, I am going to quite literally drink in this whole long moment. You know what happens during this quiet moment? I get really, really grateful. This spirit of gratitude comes in its quiet, humble sort of way, and without asking permission, walks silently across the battlefield of my mind (chest). A hush. The quivers drop. The arrows fall lifelessly mid-flight. This little spirit of gratitude, looking much like Piglet from Winne the Pooh, hovers its way out onto the battle field. Stands there for a moment. And all of a sudden there is nothing sudden. Stillness extends from the east to the west of my internal atlas and the menace has halted. This is the moment, the one I've been waiting for.

I'm am going to gobble this moment up, whole, cultivating some meditation. The gratitude. It reminds me that I am a blessed woman, with a beautiful family to call mine. This family. The ones whom I've sacrificed much for - a slammin' career, a perfectly toned physique, all kinds of delicious selfish pursuits, and sometimes my sanity. But this sublime pyramid of human joy whom I am so proud of, so thrilled to be part of building; these sweet spirits who I would gladly tumble over a cliff for. My Stevie and my Everett. I am so grateful for this life. I wouldn't have it any other way. I would choose the path I've experienced over anyone else's life because it has been the sweetest, most personally deepening and even more surprising than I could have ever conjured.

Thank you Lord. I am appreciative for this moment on my morning, thankful for the reminder to be grateful, thankful for the truth that nothing worth having ever comes easily. But it is so worth it. And as the baby begins to cry again, I take a deep breath, because I am recharged with a faith in myself. Recharged with the peace. Recharged with the precious, darling caffeine.