Lessons from My Mother.

My mom taught me most things by simply doing them herself.

For instance, my mom didn't tell me to exercise because it was good for me. But she took me along with her while she did it. I remember many evenings of watching the sun go down while we ran the stairs at the high school football stadium during my sister's cheer practices, or how she was adamant about going for a brisk walk after dinner, or how she always invited me to join her for her morning 6am swim she did 3 seasons a year.. She showed me that good health was important, that it was worth her time and energy and focus. Yes - she was truly that disciplined. Still is, actually. I chalk it up to her catholic school girl roots.

Now that I'm getting older, I find myself in awe of my mother more and more. She lives with such intention and grace, in some ways I feel like I fall so short of the example she's set. But I guess that's why it's called a journey, right?

She's the mom that prayed for me every morning in the car ride on the way to school, the woman who invited strangers over for Thanksgiving dinner because "everyone needs to be loved during the holidays", the woman who folded six stacks of laundry before dawn and gave me and my sisters her hard-earned Christmas bonuses so we could shop for presents for our friends. She's bossy, she's opinionated, incredibly witty, and she says words like "sex" that always make me and my sisters giggle because it sounds like "sax" with her little Michigan accent. She's a magnet, my mother. Everyone is drawn to her light, even I am still stunned by her, after all these years of knowing her, flaws and all. She's not perfect, she doesn't pretend to be perfect, but we do sort of tease that she's like Mary Poppins, "practically perfect in every way."

I wish everyone felt this way about their mother. I know that's not the case. I don't mean to make her sound like a cartoon-y, idealist kind of woman, but ask anyone - she's the real deal. And also, I just really get a kick out of her. Because aside from all the wisdom she dispenses at a moment's notice, she also wears teenager-y rompers from Target and for mother's day this year she invited me to go get an organic spray on tan with her. I was like, "Wait, what? You do that??" She's ironic in the funniest, coolest kind of way.

She lost her own mother at age 19, and my mind is blown over how (seriously - howww?) she did adulthood without her mom guiding her. Because I would be lost - lost, you guys - without her.

And even though she's led mostly be example and less so by words, I wanted to share a few lessons I've learned from her little sayings throughout the years. In light of Mother's Day :)

• Prayer is more powerful than you can imagine. Pray, pray and then pray some more. For anything and everything - pray.
   
• Lipstick brightens your face, so if you're only going to wear one item of makeup, make it lipstick.
   
• Always take a walk after dinner. It's the best thing for your digestion and metabolism.
   
• Clean up after yourself before you leave a room. That way you won't have a trashed house at the end of the day.
   
• Think before you speak.
   
• Use borax when you do a laundry load of whites.
   
• When people ask you for help, help them. Even when it's for help in Target and you don't work there but for some reason they think you do ;)
   
• When you see an ambulance pass by with sirens, pray for life for that situation.
   
• Just stop eating GMO food already.
   
• While we're on the topic of GMO food, when you do find non-GMO popcorn, purchase a bulk order of it. (It's her favorite all-time snack).
   
• When hosting a party, serve less appetizers than you think you need and more drinks than you think you need. And always, always have a catered Publix dessert on hand. People like petit fors.
   
• The ocean can solve a myriad of problems tangled up in your head. When in doubt, drive to the beach and let it calm your mind.
   
• Forgive everyone and don't hold grudges. Unforgiveness will damage your heart for the long run.
   
• Vacuum underneath your baby's crib once they're asleep. It will help them learn to adapt to noise, and also, your floors could always use a good vacuum (her sentiments, perhaps not mine...)
   
• Never mop before a party. People won't notice your floors. Mop immediately after the party so that your floors are cleaned up from all the people.
   
• Read ingredient labels.
   
• Deer don't eat geraniums. So plant lots and lots of geraniums.
   
• Never stop doing your research.
   
• Visit Michigan in the summer because there is nothing like a summertime bonfire along the Great Lakes.
   
• Being married and having children is the hardest and best thing you will ever do.
   
• Live close to where you and your husband work. Commuting sucks and ultimately it keeps you from having quality family time.
   
• Don't forget this one - It's all about Jesus.

Happy Mothers Day to all of you amazing moms who lead largely by example and a little by words. I hope your day is sweet and I hope you are celebrated in the way that makes you feel like the most loved, appreciated, treasured women you are. :)

P.S. - My first mothers day and revelries of my mother.
P.P.S. - The top photo is an old one of my mom and Everett at Serenbe Farms from when he was just over a year old. I love their relationship, it makes my heart melt a little bit :)

My Ultimate Guide to Baby Essentials.

I was so into registering for my wedding.

And then 7 years later, I was suuuuuper into registering for my baby gear. I was the girl that read like 17 books and researched every inane product. A lot of my friends just swiped my baby registry list when they got pregnant because I did that much research. Of course, now that I'm an actual mom with real life experience (meaning, I've been pooped on, peed on and thrown up on), there are some things that I would nix from the list, add to the list, and some things I would circle and highlight and possibly blood sign as "MUST HAVE".

Today, I share these things with you.

DISCLAIMER: I have to put this out there because otherwise someone might get all up in arms, but obviously these recommendations and insights are purely my own opinion. Everyone's life situation is different, and where you live really does influence a handful of these choices, such as stroller, car seat, crib, etc. I can only offer my experiences to you, but I do so gladly and without restraint. I want to emphasize that everyone puts a different priority on things, so please use this as a reference and go with your gut. You will learn in this journey (as I am continuing to learn!) that going with your gut as a mama is usually the right choice. So trust your instinct, and just gather information as you go!

FEEDING.

•  Glass bottles - Everett never took a bottle so we really struggled with me feeling like a human pacifier for, oh, 16 months of breastfeeding. So one of my #1 goals with Daxton was introducing bottles early, and it has proven to be such a success, #praisethelord. Also, I love the greener approach of glass bottles :)
•  Breastpump with carry tote (includes an extra set of accessories!) - I don't love pumping, but this is a great double pump and it allows me to leave milk for my baby so that I can get a break. Check with your insurance company to see if you quality to get one of these for free, thanks to this new policy. P.S. - Many of my friends have also sworn by this pump, something I'd love to try in the future!
•  Bottle warmer - Not essential, but it's been a really nice extra to have this time around.
•  A few burp cloths. Okay actually like 12-15 would be ideal.
•  High chair - You won't need this for the first few months, but it's worth investing in something you love and they love, because your kiddo will eventually spend hours eating in this little throne. I am so glad we went with something that looked semi-nice in the kitchen and that could grow with our babies into toddler life.
• A bottle cleaning brush or tool is helpful for that transition from baby to toddler feeding, I love these plates, these utensils, and these water bottles.

DIAPERING.

• I love using The Honest Company diapers. For the first year with Everett I used these exclusively and then switched back and forth between these and Seventh Generation diapers after that. Honestly, it was just out of convenience so that I could pick them up at Target vs. waiting on the monthly shipment in the mail. I recently tried a few other kinds of diapers to save on cost and ended up switching back to these two brands for both my boys, because I never have leaking problems with either of these diapers. But again, this is the kind of thing that depends on what works for you and your little baby's bum :) Though I look forward to the days of potty-trained children!
•  Healing balm & diaper rash cream - We use both of these so much. We slather the Healing Balm on anything and everything - cuts, dry skin, rashes, etc. And the diaper rash cream clears up redness after one application, it's just like magic. So these are on heavy rotation over here.
•  Baby wipes, and I love these giant packs :)
•  A diaper disposal is so, so helpful! Make sure to register for refills.

SLEEPING.

• Crib, waterproof mattress pad and crib sheets - I have less of an opinion about these items. Just get things you love and feel good about. I opted for organic options where I could find them, but they're not must-haves. And our crib was a hand-me-down and has worked out perfectly well.
•  Sound machine for sleep (I also love running a diffuser with essential oils at night, but it's not a must-have)
•  Sleep swaddle and/or swaddle blankets for newborn-stage - I used both of these for sleeping, and actually use the swaddle blankets for everything (I have at least ten of these!) - as a burp cloth, make shift nursing cover, to throw over the top of a stroller in case there's too much sun - they're very all-purpose.
•  Sleep blanket (for when you don't swaddle anymore, like 5 months - 18 months-ish?)
•  Baby video monitor - I love being able to check on my baby using the video feed, but this isn't a must-have for everyone. I have friends who are really happy with an audio monitor. Totally a personal preference!
•  Zipper onesies - These make middle-of-the-night changing so much easier. It's really hard to get buttons right when you're half-awake! I love the Baby Gap options (this and these) and Target has some convenient 3-packs options as well.

AT-HOME GEAR.
*I think it's helpful to borrow these items, if possible. My kids have varied on the different chair/swings they like, and it costs a lot to purchase these up front only to find out that your baby hates them. Also, you don't need one of each of these, just pick a few and see what works. I also like buying these items second-hand because they are mostly constructed of plastic, and its nice to have them air out and off-gas the chemicals in them, if possible. I know, I know, sometimes I'm even a little too crunchy for myself.

•  Swing
•  Bouncer or fancier seat
•  Entertainment center and/or Jumperoo
•  Bumbo with tray - This is really helpful with helping train your child to start sitting up and eating those first bites of solid food.
•  Playmat - This has proved to be both of my babies' favorite, so I would whole-heartedly recommend it!

ON-THE-GO GEAR.

•  Diaper Bag - This choice totally depends on where you live and what you need to carry around with you day-to-day. I love my Kate Spade diaper bag because it was a special gift from Stevie, but I don't always want/need to lug a big bag around. I recently switched to this non-diaper bag backpack, which has really helped with having two kids (I need my hands!) but I also really like packing a few diapers and wipes into a diaper clutch like this (I got a really cute Jonathan Adler one a few years ago, but it looks like they don't make it anymore, sad). Day to day I find myself switching out bags based on what works for the activity.
•  Stroller - This is probably the #1 item that depends solely on where you live. If you live in a city, your stroller is basically your car and you will need to really consider how much you will use it for everyday tasks (like carrying groceries and picking up laundry) versus just walking around around an outdoor mall or your neighborhood, if you live in the suburbs. And if you're super into fitness, you might want to opt for a jogging stroller, some of which allow you to attach a carseat onto it. You also want to consider whether you will be folding it down daily to store in a closet or the back seat of a car. We opted for this stroller because it was really all-purpose (for city or 'burb life), has the ability to add seats on for multiple children and is great for travel (we got the travel bag too, which works as insurance if the airline damages the stroller or bag - a major added bonus!) I also really love that it comes with a bassinet for baby's comfort and development. We also got a jogging stroller because the heavy-duty wheels allow us to take our kids on more active adventures, and recently we got the double jogger for both the boys! I'm hanging on to the single version, though, because there are some days where I'll only have one of them with me and it's nice not to lug out the minivan version. So we are currently those people who own a mess of strollers, and we actually use all of them. This is one area where I am not a minimalist, sorrrry :)
• Stroller hooks - You won't regret going for these. You can hang everything in the world on them!
•  Car seat - I hate car seats because they are so heavy and bulky and awkward to lug around. But unless you live in a city where you walk absolutely everywhere, they are necessary! So we went with this one because it was compatible with the strollers we chose (utilizing an adapter here and there). But all carseats have to have the same safety measures so there probably isn't a bad option on the market - I would say just pick one that's in your budget and is compatible with your other gear :) We actually have a few of these seats because of multiple cars and you know, golf cart life, too ;)
•  Carrier - After trying out tons, both me and Stevie's absolute favorite is the Ergobaby because it is so structured and supportive. Now there is the Ergobaby 360 which gives even more wearing options, and I would love to give that one a try. I have also really liked using the Solly Wrap this time around because it keeps baby so close and cozy, although with my big baby I find myself reaching for the Ergo the very most. I also recommend the K'tan, if you don't have super huge babies, it's a great one.
• Travel Crib or Pack N Play - We have used both of these a lot, but this is another one of those categories that depends on your lifestyle. If you travel a lot, I can assure you that you will use and love this travel crib. Ours has been all over the world with us and kept our baby sleeping so well (at the moment, my we are actually traveling and my child IS sleeping soundly in it, so there you have it.) The pack n play is so helpful in those first few months of having the baby sleep in-room with you, and it's also so easy to take to Grandma's house when you want to nap your kiddo on the go.

TOYS, BOOKS, ETC.
Baby toys aren't must-haves, and you will probably find yourself accumulating them faster than you realize. A few that we have loved are this teether, this brand of stuff animals (we have so many of these, Everett calls them his "babies") and these baby books.

I thought this list would feel more condensed - it's kind of crazy how much STUFF babies can attract. Anything that I'm missing that you absolutely loved and would deem a *must have*? I would love to hear about it in the comments! And please let me know if you have any questions or need clarifications on any of this -  I am happy to share my experiences!

P.S. - My postpartum recovery essentials for a vaginal delivery and for a c-section delivery (I honestly still cannot believe I've experienced both of those and live the tell the tales...) and a guide for what to pack in your hospital bag :)
 

Planting geraniums.

We scouted them out a month ago. When Daddy was out of town for days and days and I was about to lose my mind a little bit. I loaded up my little men in the car, along with our giant stroller that could double as a minivan on three wheels, and we went to the happiest place I could think of - Pike's Nursery. Everett is truly my son when it comes to plants and greenery and florals and whatnot. He and I are usually the only people at Pike's under the age of 60 but we lovvvve it. (Daxton has not quite caught on to the family adoration for this place, that child better learrrrrrn). We do this frequently, we walk all the aisles and sniff only the beautiful things and discuss landscape color schemes and Everett puts his hands in all the water fountains and I have to keep him from knocking over the $800 stone statues of frogs and it just makes me feel so close to him because it's like, he gets me.

Like, yesterday, he looked at me and said, "Mom, I love those hydrangeas you picked out." What a freaking blessing this blessed little angel from Heaven is. Also, he says hydrangeas like, "high-dangerous" which I love so much so I don't think I will ever correct him.

Anyway, the purpose of our little field trip last month was to scout out the wonders of my favorite deer resistant, all-summer-long-blooming flower - geraniums. We decided that we liked all the colors instead of just picking one type and that we would come back after the 15th of April, when the chance of frost in our area was finally minimal.

We had a good bit of landscaping done this past month - some diseased trees needed to be removed from our property so we decided to get them taken down and add some new flowers, shrubs and trees to freshen the place up. What a difference it has made! With the newborn situation (AKA the not sleeping situation), we opted to have someone help us out with all the work this time around, which I thought would be hard since I love doing all the planting myself but - who am I kidding - it was extremely wonderful to have someone else do it. But me and Everett decided we wanted to plant the geraniums ourselves, because it's kind of become our thing, so we did our thing. Everett used his new gardening gear, courtesy of the Easter Bunny.

I am not winning at life right now. I am not super mom or super wife or super friend or super rested, but I am winning in love, my friends. These little boys fill me with so much joy and I am the luckiest to call them my own. My little Everett has been so good the past few months. adjusting beautifully to having a new baby bro around. He is definitely aware of the attention being shifted from him to Daxton, so Stevie and I are doing our best to be intentional with both of them with our energy and time. It's so good for his heart and mine, finding these little pockets of time where we can do "our things" together and keep our laughter and love at the center of everything.

Things have changed. It's a brand new season. Which calls for new flowers pots. I fear its just a matter of time before I start collecting lawn gnomes, friends.

5 Things to be grateful for + a little bit of messy honesty.

Happy Monday!

I have a little thing I do when I'm a down. I take time to stop and reflect on my current situation and find reasons to be grateful. I wanted to share this with you today because I've been using this little exercise a lot more lately and I am hoping it will help encourage you in your current state, too :)

Lately, I'm feeling grateful for:

1. Everett eating apples these days. If you know our toddler struggles with healthy food, you know what a wonderfully big deal this is. He's asking to eat green apples! God loves me you guys.

2. Our new landscape. We had a few trees removed, a few trees planted, a ton of shrubs installed, a slew of beautiful stones and a dump truck of mulch fluffed all around our yard. I am like an 80-year-old garden lover in a 20-something body. I LOVE MY YARD. And it is giving me peace. And giving the birds a reason to come visit.

3. The birds are visiting my yard. This really deserves it's own line in my book of gratitude. I LOVE BIRDS. Add it to my list of elderly female hobbies. If you have a grandma, she and I would surely have a lot to discuss.

4. My baby boy Daxton is rolling over. Not all the time, but he's done it from front-to-back and from back-to-front and it honestly shocks me. And reminds me about how fast this baby thing goes the second time around.

5. Health. Safety. Recovery. America. Chocolate, which I'm allowing myself to have again, after about a month of no sweets and no alcohol. What even ever. Mama needs chocolate. And wine, if we're being really honest.

6. Okay, a bonus gratitude because I'm currently watching my two boys "playing" together on the floor and it's really making me smile. Watching the two of them together is as heart warming as everyone told me it would be. Actually, it's even better :)

I've been overwhelmed, friends.

It's been utterly hard. I am grateful for my friend Laura, who told me, "Hard is hard." I've been feeling a little embarrassed about how hard it's felt for me these last few months. So many people have it harder than me, so I have a difficult time putting my feelings into words when I feel like someone out there has it worse off than me. But her words have helped me. "Hard is hard" means that my hard still matters. Just because someone else's hard seems more challenging or more deserving of the title - my experience is still allowed to be hard.

Hard is hard, friends.

I don't have this wrapped up in a pretty bow. I don't have a lot of answers today, or a 3-point blog post featuring my revelatory and wondrous advice, or the 10 secrets to successfully winning at life after having a hard time. I'm in the middle of a process, on the road in this journey, in the midst of figuring out what's going to work. I'm praying, I'm researching, I'm meeting with people. I'm supported.

I'm messy these days, unraveling and undone. But I'm not alone. And while I'm tempted to linger in a minefield of my own feelings, I am at my best when I channel that energy into my health and most importantly - others. Meditating on these things I'm grateful for has helped bridge my feelings into positive action. I'm not saying it's the answer in life, but it has been a lifeline for me personally.

I hope you'll allow me to be this vulnerable with you. I took a week off the blog last week, which is the first time that has happened in years. I needed it, and there might be more hiatuses in the coming months as I figure out this balance of motherhood, family and writing. I appreciate all of you out there reading, because you have given me the opportunity to make this blog a place where I am always uplifted and inspired. You are loved, appreciated and celebrated by me! Thanks for reading this little corner of the internet. xox.

Meeting Christopher Gavigan, CPO of The Honest Company!

I've spent years wiping butts.

Some of you haven't had this experience. Good for you. But I am extremely familiar with the whole lower-quadrant body-sanitizing circumstance that I find myself in roughly 12 times a day. Two babies, yall. Two babies in diapers. I have a system, a method for how to get the job done with the least amount of, how do I put it - contamination - and my speed at diaper changing has accelerated vastly due to my recent years of training in the field. These days I can off rip a diaper, purify the state of affairs, and slap on a fresh one probably faster than you can blow your nose and throw it away.

And I know I'm not alone.

We mamas learn how to get things done - efficiently, stupendously and while we are multi-tasking at least 6 other things. While balancing a coffee cup somewhere we probably shouldn't be.

So when Stevie and I had the chance to chat with Christopher Gavigan, CPO of The Honest Company, our favorite and most-used diaper brand, we took that opportunity. Because we had to tell him. About all our years of using his products in the middle of the night (after sleep-walk bumping into a few walls), on airplanes in foreign countries (while being scowled at in what can only be described as German/Italian/French backhanded glares), in the back seat of our SUV while road tripping (to avoid gas station bathroom filth contaminating our precious baby's undercarriage), and you know, the normal way - on the changing table in our kids' bedrooms.

We love these diapers, we told him. We love the diaper rash cream, we said. We love the healing balm, we use it on ourselves. He beamed with the pride of a thousand suns. He's definitely a sunny soul, you can tell.

But.

We told him something else.

We love the Seventh Generation wipes a little better than yours.

His face fell. "You what??"

I hated telling such a nice man the truth, but I secretly loved getting it off my chest. I felt like we had been cheating on our preferred brand for a while now, by buying another brand of wipes. But we do like them better! They're wetter, they come out of the package a little easier, and we told him - we just prefer them to yours.

Luckily, this Christopher Gavigan guy was kinder than you would believe (and also more intense than a football coach during the super bowl) about defending his wipes.

He literally ran across the room, (which drew some attention - everyone was like, what's happening?!), retrieved a fresh pack of wipes, and then gave us an on-the-spot demonstration on why his Honest Company wipes are the best on the market. Not only are they made of completely pure ingredients (you can see the list here), but they are about 25% larger than most other wipes, meaning they can fit in "man hands" (he wasn't being derogatory - he literally meant for them to fit into both a mom and a dad's hands). They are also surprisingly more wet than what meets the eye, but the water is absorbed within instead of sitting on top of the wipe like a raincoat. I didn't understand what he meant by that until he showed us - he pulled out a wipe and literally squeezed it - and I seriously couldn't believe what I was seeing. TONS of fluid came out of the wipe, more than you would ever think it could contain based on just feeling it, and he was I think he was most proud of this. These wipes are specially formulated to be useful in any scenario - not just the butt-wiping that I described above. You can use these to clean toys, wipe counter tops, clean up boo boos and cleanse any cheek you meet ;)

Such a nice guy. And it was really fun getting to meet him and chat a little bit about family life, business ideas (how is it that business school guys always seem to find a way to talk ideas, even at first meeting each other - what is that about??), and hear more about his heart behind The Honest Company. He didn't have to sell us, since we have been long-time users and have subscribed to both the Essentials Bundle and the Diapers & Wipes Bundle. I also love that I can pick up most of these products at Target these days, too.

Did he convince us on the wipes? I'm not going to lie. We are giving them another go.

Kind of like a date night :)

Why don't my flowers ever look this good? Summer garden goals, guys.

My bro + sis-in-law joined us!

I know this is like, the blurriest, most 1996-esque picture of my life, but what's a girl to do when she meets a rad CEO and it's dark outside and you have to take a selfie with terrible lighting? You take the selfie, with absolutely terrible, horrible, rubbish lighting. Also, could this guy and Stevie be brothers or what?? Just sayin. Although I think Stevie has enough brothers.

When we got home from the event, we changed Everett's diaper and showed him the little squeeze-y wipe trick. He got such a kick out of it that now he wants us to squeeze the wipes out every time. It's pretty hilarious.

If you haven't had the opportunity to try The Honest Company, I would truly recommend it. I just honestly believe in these eco-friendly, non-toxic products so much and I would love for as many people as possible to try them. I've linked to my family's most-used and loved products below.

Many, many thanks to the Bump Club & Beyond team and to The Honest Company for inviting us and putting on such a fun event :) Like seriously, we needed that date night out. xx